Great deal my a*s

Panzer is a German word for tank. Just so you know

    The ad said it was 18000
     The sticker says it's 38
Somewhere in between the two
    There was a disconnect

It's 38 if you want extras
Like a motor wheels and tires
What the hell's a sports package
Why does that make it higher

800 extra for a fin on the trunk
What the f**k is up with that
It's a Goddamn piece of plastic
and it looks like a piece of crap

I don't like red I want it black
That costs two thousand more
Just hook a vacuum to my a*s
and suck money from every pour

What do you mean a dealers fee
What in the hell is title insurance
So now my trade in's worthless
and I'm only getting a pittance

You know what? f**k this deal
I don't want this ride anyway
It's little weird and Japanese
So I'll Just be on my way

I wouldn't drive a Mazda Miata
I wouldn't fit behind the wheel
That car's a chick ride anyway
At least that's how I feel

I'm not driving a girlie car
I own a big a*s pickup truck
It's a regular redneck caddy
I'm from the south ya hockey puck

So just say yeeha Ricochet
and hear that motor roar
I can drive through anything
In my ford panzer 4X4

Perhaps you think me egocentric
A phase that's sure to pass
I know one thing for certain though
My truck can kick your a*s

Author's Note

Disclaimer: My wife had a Mazda Miata out in California. It was a great little car and I loved driving it. The truck in the picture isn't mine. Even I think that's overkill.

Reviews

[Pax]

hmm... not sure what to say about cars... not much info about it... but i like what you conveyed here... somewhat an informative poem about cars on what to choose... well a car is a car for me... if it runs ok and fast then its ok for me...I'm easy to content :D.. another great work my friend..

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Mr Pax

[Tate Morgan]

Personally coming from the horse culture I AM A TRUCK MAN.I think my favorite was the 1986 ford 3/4 ton i had with a 460 4 barrel holly it got 9 miles to the gallon .But it did 130 from Indianapolis to Chicago and still had two inches of peddle left.I was afraid to let it loose.Back then i cant believe i didnt get caught doing that.Well things were a little different .But I have always liked trucks shift on the floor. Im partial to ford they eat gas but they are tougher .They take twice the beating of any other.i had a dually dodge with the cummins engine.It did well but had no a*s to it. It pulled well but topped at 70 mile an hr. You can hardly merge with traffic with that .dodge hAS TOO MANY PROBLEMS ESPECIALLY THE WIRING.I always found if I broke a ford it wasnt hard to fix . Although i have trashed a few chevies.My favorite is the 1 ton ford plastic floorboards so i can hose it out .I am a simple kinda guy i like a truck to act like it means business and I always hit it in the bed to dent it when i buy it so I dont need to worry about the first dent .

[Baby Ricochet]

That's for sure. Thanks for your input Tate.

[Ohhhwillow]

I'm not much into cars, but nothing is as it seems, it's says 18000? Course it wasn't 80000, this part made me laugh Baby!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks for stopping by

[KAOlmsted]

Ha! Yeah, Miata is a total chick car...Meanwhile, I drive a Ford F150 pick 'em up truck...the f****r sucks on gas but when I pull out into traffic the Geo Metros and the Toyota Priuses give me the right of way ;-) Meanwhile, I don't know how they do down in Tampa, but Pensacola drivers are insane...red lights mean nothing and stop signs are merely suggestions xD This was a really fun read, Baby...thanks so much for sharing it with us!

[Baby Ricochet]

You're so welcome. Thank you Kimmer

[KAOlmsted]

Always my pleasure...

[Carolann Dowsett]

This is fun. I'm not into cars but I can get your point and I can certainly see you behind the wheel of that pick up truck :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Carolann

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome.

[Annabelle Lee]

We've got a pickup and a durango. I'd like to throw out a bunch of impressive, mechanic type lingo but I can't do that. I like motorcycles better, anyways

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Annabelle

[KeeD]

everyday life can be humorous and stupid at times, you point out the what the f***s and the oh my gods in such beautiful poetic excellence. Really enjoyed it.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Keegan

[Frieda P]

My other car is a Pangani Zonda C12 F...in my dreams anyway! ;-)

I'd love to see you in a girlie car, picturing that in my mind is almost as funny as this little ditty!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Frieda

[Marie]

I don't know much about cars.
I do remember that I had a problem about $100 with a care salesman once. He wouldn't come down. So I left.

[Baby Ricochet]

thanks for stopping by Marie

[quinfinn]

best ride i ever owned was a 69 Ford Mustang with a 351 windsor and factory glass and chrome slotted reverse all round and craig hijackers and it was black over gold with racing stripes. "panzer" is a type of tank used by the Germans during the 2nd ww but the word "panzer" is actually German for "panther"...i enjoyed the hell outta this write...believe me, i felt the angst. and they joy....

[Baby Ricochet]

69 Mustang with a 351 windsor. Ooooooh, That's almost arousing. A buddy of mine has a 68 Dodge Charger. He's won several best in shows with it and it really is a beautiful car. My nick name for gigantic 4X4's is Panzerwagons. I put the definition at the top in the vain hope people would get the "Ford Panzer" joke then Muse quipped to her a tank is a sleeveless top she could accessorize so I guess it didn't work to well. At least for her anyway.

[quinfinn]

words are such diverse and playful little things.....yeh, i miss my "stang"