Schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia.

A Poem by Julie Deshtor
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Prose Poem Prompt

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Schizophrenia.

 

            He is born of longing and a careless fantasy.  Unlikely, improbable, but alive. 

His thin face is lined with worry and age, embraced by cigarette smoke.  In his steely eyes there is madness like a burnt flower. 

He is so inevitably beautiful, this one, and so fragile - a relic of an age that must not be forgiven.  The blend between the Nazi determination and the Communist strife within him is intoxicating, like the dream he had walked out of.

            Ferris.   The leader.   Never to be touched.

            Love is a curious little b***h.  It always comes uninvited.  Sometimes, it is not love at all.  It’s a nightmare.

            That’s when miracles become possible and a man sewn of evil comes walking out of your dreams into the arms of his lover and his friends.  You are left there, standing, watching.  Not welcome.  Bystander.  Creator.

            Soon, a universe grows out of this improbable seed; an entire boundless living universe. 

He spins his web, spreads his wings, loads his missiles. 

Hitler's fine men come marching through the streets. 

The grin spreads.

Millions come, laughing, into the trap, and you, too, are drawn by his universal magnetism, inevitably in love with your own creation.

© 2011 Julie Deshtor


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Featured Review

Interesting, and very ominous.

I think the most powerful line is where you convey this evil's creation as a "miracle." It's certainly miraculous to see a dream come to life but the idea that miracles can bring forth evil is an idea I'd never contemplated before.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This reminds me of a dream where you feel you are awake. All at once a rush of subconscious thought floods the reality in which you live your waking life. Of course that is only my interpretation. Such strong diction carries my mind far, as every word gives way to a dozen references. Psychology, to me is what poetry is made of. :D I digress, this is of a professional grade and I will be sure to read more of you inspiring works!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love that you attempted this. We all live in the dellusions of our projections, interesting how there are various degrees of this.

You captured much of an alternate reality with a very rich vocabulary.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hey, you responded to the AMP prompt! YAY!

on that note, I think you did a really good job of interspersing the prosaic with the poetic. I think you went with the more "surreal" option of the prose poem, which is fine, cuz I personally prefer those. Technically, you didn't stretch all lines to the end of the right margin, but I won't deduct any points for that ;)

To me, this poem seems like the profile of a Cult Leader or manevolent genius, a sort of Hitler Stalin Napoleon in rolled up into one - and the person adressed is the follower, how maybe those "saviors" are actually an active creation by the masses. It's an interesting inversion as most followers are viewed as passively worshiping, when here it seems like the poem is saying the opposite, that the worshippers are actively CREATING an ideal in their own minds, enslaving themselves.

This def has undertones of Rimbaud and Baudelaire. Others have touched on certain striking aphorisms which liven up the "prose" format. Great job!

I'll be sending other prompts, and hopefully your response will be as enjoyable as this piece!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great writing, powerful, punchy, raising the temperature in a strangely easy flow of words. And yes, so easy to be lured into evil's circle, the excitement of the dance, the march, the love .. an impassioned plea to join what just might not be sincere passion, two faces of emotion ..

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this edgy art. Madness like a burnt flower, loves a curious little b***h...evocative language adding to the tension of this well written piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting, and very ominous.

I think the most powerful line is where you convey this evil's creation as a "miracle." It's certainly miraculous to see a dream come to life but the idea that miracles can bring forth evil is an idea I'd never contemplated before.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 18, 2011
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Author

Julie Deshtor
Julie Deshtor

Salt Lake City, UT



About
Julie Deshtor grew up in the Soviet Union during the turbulent 90s, and moved to the United States shortly after the Soviet Empire collapsed in 1991. A bilingual author, Julie writes both fiction and.. more..

Writing