The End of Humanity

Inspired by the end of the world theories for 2012.

The day it happened, the day the ash covered the sky. It blotted out the sun denying me of the guiding light I so desperately needed. Day and night became one and the animals became frightened. The seasons fused together, and the differences between summer and winter dissolved as if they had never existed. The cold made the blood in my veins feel as if it were freezing solid. The flora had died long ago. The trees that provided the oxygen I needed to live had long since been dead and what little oxygen left was disappearing rapidly. The Earth had stopped rotating and the stars fell against the surface their blue flames exploding in every direction when they made contact with the land. I longed for the familiar shape of the moon and the clouds. I wished every night for a miracle, for the ash to suddenly disappear. The icy wind whipped across my face feeling as if it had cut me. Their had been no rain since it happened, only snow. I had no water and no food. I was dying of thirst and the hunger made it hard for me to push on. Their was only one thing that kept me going and that the possibility that I was the last human. That with me Humanity could end. It was up to me to make sure that fate never happened.

Reviews

[Chris]

First: about your Author's note... Reviews help you write better. Grammar is a pain but if the work is unreadable what else is there? Its unfair to tie your readers hands - they have to WANT to read your thoughts and like you - if you don't like something or want to do something then you will ignore it or just not do it.

The story:

Interesting idea. You do need to think it through a little bit more. End of the world thoughts are a genre of themselves. People WILL act differently - some rise some fall. Develop your tale. Use an outline to flesh out a sequence. At the very least, snow melts.

Take care,
Chris

[Harley (arbiter)]

I like it! Like the end o world concept all together. Reminds me of 3 things: fallout (games) , "soul survivor" great song by fav band blue oyster cult , and my poem "if tomorrow all the things where gone" great write keep it up!

[quarintine_deathangel]

Good themes, a little clishe although, there is vivid imagery and you do get the reader into the scene. Just don't use so many articles and cut the sentences shorter, not choppy, though not so wordy. Then it won't take as long to read and the theme will be much clearer. It's an interesting idea to work with btw the aztecs had a theory that the world won't have an apocalypse but the human race and nature would keep evolving to more enlightened levels and up to one point believe themselves to be Gods and need no God and destroy themselves.

[Julio]

Pretty awesome, but I'd say you might want to layer it a bit more - where are you, what can you smell, are you damaged yourself? Bad eyesight maybe, from the lack of light? Although it's an introduction you might want to make it a bit more complex.

Nonetheless, an excellent start to a story with great potential. If you want really good inspiration, there's quite a few REALLY good post-apocalyptic games: RAGE, Fallout, Borderlands, and so on. Check them out if you want, they may help you include more narrative elements or expand upon what you've already started. Cheers and keep it up!

[Tee]

This is actually a great introduction for a story, if you ever plan on continuing this. Your words are very descriptive! Although my only suggestion for you is to vary your sentence structures so that your story doesn't sound too monotonous. But overall, this was great! A story told in such a few word, good job.

Keep writing!

[eglantine]

good start, but, humanity will die if the speaker IS the only human left because what happens when they eventually die?

[Crifa]

Wow extremely descriptive. I read this with a lot of noise in the background and it took me in and everything else was blocked out. Great job!

[Dream Eater]

wow...... very good!!