Darkness Inside My Soul...

A request to the one I love..

Everyday it’s always the same,

I try to get closer and you push me away

Why do you look at me like a stranger

When for each other we are made

I will adorn your life with love

Let me in I beg.

Give me a chance,

Take my hand

Pretend not to be oblivious

To the pain that you inflict

I hold you guilty for making me falter

On this path yet untrodden

With you in my heart

I can fight the world

Ready to rebel against all odds

Come and save me my love

Before the night falls

With night comes darkness..

Darkness all around..

Darkness spreading inside my soul...

Author's Note

pls comment. New to writing.

Reviews

[me, myself and her]

This poem does not make it apparent that you are new to writing! It is quite good and these thoughts and feelings I find rather provocative and self-revealing.

I particularly appreciate that this piece is left open-ended. And it feels to me like there are two requests being made here: one of your beloved and one of the love you feel in your own heart. I am left wondering from which one it is you truly seek an answer. Perhaps you seek encouragement from the one you love and courage, itself, from your own heart, from your own ability to love equally in return. These two are not so different in the end, I think.

And whether it is either one or both you seek a response from, you will never know any degree of an answer until you find out what love can come from the combination of both hearts, your own and the one you watch with such hopefulness, but also with uncertainty. Just remember, you do not have to achieve certainly before you take your beloved's hand and see where the journey just might lead you both, together and separately.

And I realize that my review of your poem is more about subject matter than poetic style, but this particular love and commitment dilemma is quite close to my own heart on this new spring day, full of both hope and promise, in my own life, in my own journey toward sharing my soul with another, as well as my heart.

Keep writing! You express yourself well, revealing both the pathos and the promise that is always present in a heart seeking to both love and be loved for the opportunities and the difficulties such an adventure of the heart always contains. And both in equal measure most of the time, I find.

[moongoddess]

I really like this...Beautifully written, I can feel your pain.

[Kon™]

You are new to writing? Well then I'm amazed to see what you will conjure up when you are an expert at writing. You did a great job displaying emotions here. Excellent work you have here, hope to see more from you :)

[deeps]

I really like this it is full of emotion, you express yourself well

[Jacob]

:) lovely my dear. this piece is lovely.. you're good.

[Fallen Angel]

Wouldn't say by reading this that you are new to writing, as livingdeath said many people will be able to relate to this. Well written and please do keep on writing.

[LivingDeath]

I love this, full of emotion that many people will be able to relate to. And if you are new to writing then you are going to prosper, this is an excellent piece of art here. Very good job

[Autumn Mist]

Thanks for the encouraging words Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is powerful and sad. I find no weakness in the poem. I could feel the desire and need to be with the one that is missed. A excellent poem.
Coyote