Box

I pursue things that will always end.

If life could be summed into near misses,

mine could fill an entire book.

I have a list full of tumultuous risks,

and yet I can't move past your look.

There is something in my pattern,

a repetition of ridiculous choices,

that keep bringing me back to this point.

A cycle of regret that can't be unjoined.

Each time I come close to reality,

I retreat into the reckless pattern.

Never a chance for a future,

so never a chance for vulnerability.

It's impossible to imagine a time

where i didn't perpetuate this fear.

I used to live in denial of the signs.

But now it's unbearable to ignore.

In my attempt to protect myself,

Life has become dull and listless.

Alone and safely contained,

My life will inevitably stay the same.

Although months have gone by,

my thoughts keep going back.

Wishing I could rewind the tape,

and tell you the truth at last.

I wish I hadn't let you in,

but not for the reasons you think.

I was afraid of what might begin,

terrified of falling off the brink.

And I pushed you to your limit,

past the point of no return,

so the pattern fell back into place,

and I was back in my box again.

Safe, alone, and contained.

 

Reviews

[The earth (Titan maphah..]

And this poem too.... is greatly penned

[The Nude Writer]

A lovely poem of love lost. Very moving

[diaphanous]

Thank you!