Anytime

My first free-form poem from a few years back. Three years since this asteroid grazed my surface:)

My heart screams for the lover I never had.

I know this delicate flower. 

She is my oldest friend.

This can never happen, at least for me.

Many nights, imploring me to come over and slide my arms around her,

She knows when I am thirsty for her nectar.

I deluded myself into thinking we could stay just friends.

Electricity flows through our conversations.

I can't do this now.

For the moment, I scramble to ground to our thinly veiled passion.

Although, I'd ride lightning to get to her right now if she called.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Temptations. My first attempt at free-form poetry. I have never used the strike-through device before either.

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I love freestyle which is good for me as it is all i write and know of lol
I like the words crossed out.. it gives us more to think about..
Can people of the opposite sex be just friends, or does this happen sooner or later?
Well written I like it very much.. and long time no see!

Chloe

[E.H. Monroe]

F**k...twice..

Yeah I have played the denial game..and when they wink in a direction that could be considered yours you fire up the ol hot rod and race to their position under the guise of "I was in the area."

The best poems bring on the worst memories sometimes...
but its also the worst situations that make the best memories...

f*****g A...B and C while were at it

Bravo

[Lorraine]

A free verse with a very distinct and musical beat. Your words are tender as if by contrast to the strong emotions spiraling in this poem. I love the last two lines too. It's bittersweet and just simply touching. It has the feeling of a forbidden love going on in it.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[OT]

first attempt? really? it's very good!! a passionate write - great descriptions - "electricity flows through our conversations" - the flower/nectar - the longing, nice!!

[MuSe Ampoule]

Oh, this is really great stuff. Raw, passionate...and the right amount of that sparking drama that happens between people! Very well done! I especially like the strike throughs, as if you're scribbling these thoughts...then no...yes, no It can't be...adds to the drama and brings it up another level!

[Rossen]

you are my light

[just rose.]

i'm going to give a second review of this. i want you to know the last line of this poem is the exact moment when i knew you totally rocked!!!!

[Marie Harrison]

Oh this is sweet. I like it. Great job!

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Wow, to fall is love with a friend is hard; I know. Nothing will ever be the same. This is the first writing on this subject that I have read. You, so aptly, described the confusion that ensues. I loved this poem, written like someone whom has been there. Fantastic!

[Tim]

I hear you, I've been there and I like the way the last line sums it all up. Love the song choice as well, great song. It's funny how we trick ourselves into thinking there's nothing heavy going on when deep inside that yearning won't go away. The mental devices we use are useless over time. Good job.

If this is your first attempt at free form poetry then I think you deserve a very BIG well done!
I especially liked the strike through's.. :)