Aware

An open letter to people who "suffer" from a infinite open mind.

Have you ever been so aware that you’ve led yourself to a state of panic over the creation of the universe, space, and life itself? 

Stayed up till the late of night laying perfectly still, but somehow managing to swim through a quick sand of thoughts? And for some reason unknown, the swimming fails to tire you out, but ends up fueling your laps like gasoline on a fire. 

So aware of the cool soft touch your skin feels against the satin sheets that you realize you’ll only have a numbered feeling of everything. 

That what we can do in this world we can only do for limited amounts of time. 

You think everything is numbered, but numbers are man made. Everything is measured, but units are man made. Everything we know today except for the dirt beneath our feet and air we breathe is man made.

 How do I, as a person, cope with the fact that I have to make the most out of what life has to offer, when the product of life is stopping me from doing so.

People are the product of all things natural, yet they block other people from enjoying the small slot of time they have on earth. 

For instance, the creation of currency labels that the more money you have the more you get to experience and the better quality of life you receive. 

How do I as a natural product of life cope with the fact that I’m not more than my body? 

I am just a bundle of organs and cells wrapped tight in skin that will inevitably shut down. 

I’m so aware all of the time to the point where I constantly wonder about how my last minute in this body will be. Will I be alone, in fear, with family, in pain? Perhaps even in love? 

Have you every been so aware that you cant accept that there isn’t more to life than living and dying, and that there has to be something else out there to understand. A purpose? A gift? A clue? A God?

Have you ever been so aware to the point where you realize sleeping is death’s cousin? 

You live till you die, but you only retain memories of half of those years, because you sleep the remainder of the time…and maybe that’s the thought that forces you to stay awake because you’re afraid of sleeping your life away. 

You would think that because you are so aware your brain would be mechanical and unimaginable, but it isn’t. You cling onto every fairy-tale or belief or maybe even religion because you know how your mind will end. 

You’re desperate to feel the way you were as a child. 

How am I as growing and aging life form supposed to celebrate my birthday when every year I lose more of my ability to believe and create?

People who are so implausibly aware, you are not crazy or irrational. You are beautiful minds who I believe are so much more than the body you’re trapped in. So exploit your mind and put it on paper or on a wall or even permanently in the earth and live through your work for eternity.

Author's Note

You are more than your body.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Internalizing the numerical nature of things can be a curse. Mostly because it makes so much sense but never has an ending and trivilizes individual experiance. Things always continue to keep getting either larger or smaller depending upon how you choose to look at the world. I love and hate numbers for that reason.

I don't think sleeping is death's cousin though. It's more closely related I think.

Long poems like this usually bore me. Usually they bore everybody. But this one's good. Well done. It's a shame it took me so long to find it.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Ren... there is more to heaven and earth than we can ever imagine... I do believe. When you think of the creation of a baby growing from an egg and a sperm.. producing an intricate person with a Spirit and miracles of breathing and a mind to comprehend... it is easy to believe. truly, Pat

[Meraki]

Yes, I suffer from the same symptoms as well though I couldn't have said it better, or nearly as beautiful, myself. I probably wouldn't have said it just tried fumbling for to words to barely explain it. Your words are so eloquent. I find myself slightly envious and in awe of your work. Brilliant

[Farhan Shaikh]

Magnificent peace of work..very much Interesting thoughts...i loved it..thnks for Sharing such poems

[Ren Grace]

Thank you so much!!

[Lorry]

This is bloody brilliant. I have thought that, all of that before, but never all at once and so concisely or eloquently. Pondering the little things is what I'm good at, maybe coming up with a one liner here or there for it, but in the whole, I like quiet thoughts. But you have expanded on each and multiplied all the things we need or want or strive for and multiplied them with the never ending complexities that life throws in our way.
We need to sleep, but it takes up a third of our time, so are we being sensible, lazy or selfish when we go to bed? Same goes for all the questions you ask. Is thought or action more important? Do we need a map or should we run free? When you think about it, with all the things to think about, it's amazing we get anywhere at all on this path we call life.
ps....I think God's a chick, because I dreamt it. She makes awesome coffee. :)

[Ren Grace]

Wow thank you so much for a thoughtful and funny review!! God could be a chick who knows really! Thank you for taking the time to tell me how you felt, it means so much :)

[Lorry]

No worries :)

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha suffer as you say from infinite, open mind! i love it!!
very interesting perplexing thoughts ... my own thoughts sent darting this way and that as i continued to read ... and in reading i feel stuck on the concrete of life .. time ... space ... math ... science .. but before that i am set on my bed attempting sleep ..as wrestling thoughts invade and some frighten .. hmmmmmmmm
your composition only brushes on the most sought unravellings of all .. of God ..at the very root of "awareness" .. where of necessity the concrete let off! ;))
when one thinks on it ...the "time" we have here on earth really is infinite after all.without the benefits of "time" (which necessitates past and future) we have only the eternal "now" .. which is complicated only by the changes infinitely occurring .. you have got me going this morning .. i am much better prepared to not miss a thing ..lint in the air, sounds of the cabin creaking awake, buzzing of insects ..not holding on ..letting it pass ...oh yes ..thank you for my awareness of a wondrous now ma'am!
E.

[Ren Grace]

Reading your response made me proud to have written and posted such a mindful and personal piece. All I wish to do in this world is share my thoughts to help or relate to people in anyway. Im so glad you enjoyed this! I enjoyed your review just as much!

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ..............

[Great Aunt Astri]

Wow, what a wonderful perceptive poem! We are so much more than just a body, with a brain bigger than the universe. It is quite scary to be aware of this. Loved your poem.

[Ren Grace]

Thank you so much!!!