The Quiet One

The Quiet One

A Poem by Emilia A
"

A poem about me. I hope it's not conceited. It's always hard not to when you're writing about yourself.

"
Glasses
only sometimes.

Cheeks bright red
all the time.

Picks the front row in class
the girl with the quiet laugh
waiting for the time to pass.

Loves passionately
all at once and all too fast
but there are worse things in the world.

Busy mind
silent mouth
carefully choosing the words that come out.

Selective
not reclusive...
well not entirely.

Smiling wide
she cares and tries her best
even when it becomes too much.

She bears it with a smile on her face
because she falls apart internally.


© 2014 Emilia A



Author's Note

Emilia A
Does it seem too sad? I am also experimenting with letting my phrasing change. What are your thoughts?

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Featured Review

This is full of great subtlety. I feel the deliberation in your words, the imprecision that makes life real. I like how you give us a certain level of unpredictability from the beginning with the first line about glasses only SOMETIMES. This is life, it isn't clean and systematic but messy and irregular. You don't know who you will be or who someone else will be tomorrow. All you know is that they DO tend to sit in the front row if class and give you a special feeling.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It is definitely very effective the way you are changing the phrasing. What makes it work is that the phrasing matches the meaning of what you are saying. It serves to back up the flow of the "plot" when you change phrasing with your changes of feeling and emotion. It definitely isn't too sad either. We can handle WAY sadder. This is just the sometimes melancholy of life. You don't need to apologize for accurate depiction of the way the world can be.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia A

3 Years Ago

I am so glad that you enjoyed my poem and could see all the little details I put into it!
Than.. read more
Robert Tusitala O'Neill

3 Years Ago

Naturally!! It's the least I could do after appreciating such a fine read!
This is full of great subtlety. I feel the deliberation in your words, the imprecision that makes life real. I like how you give us a certain level of unpredictability from the beginning with the first line about glasses only SOMETIMES. This is life, it isn't clean and systematic but messy and irregular. You don't know who you will be or who someone else will be tomorrow. All you know is that they DO tend to sit in the front row if class and give you a special feeling.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The poem of the Introvert.... lol love this. Beautiful poem thank you for sharing :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia A

3 Years Ago

Exactly right! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Love this! It brought me back to the past when I was a quiet and shy high school student. Every word of this is true for me. great work!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia A

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I'm glad you could relate :)
Very good description. I like the statements making the reader have a vision of someone trying their best and showing a positive face. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia A

3 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and enjoying! :)
..Smiling wide
she cares and tries her best
even when it becomes too much.


The Quiet One..very well expressed. There is nothing wrong with being quiet.no, I didn't find it sad at all found it quite impressive.
maria rose♥

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia A

3 Years Ago

Many thanks! So glad you enjoyed it! :)
maria  ( rose)

3 Years Ago

your welcome! Congrats on your win:)
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DrD
Sadness is an acute emotion and can be expressed beyond limit, so don't worry about that. Descriptive poetry is not always easy and you chose to tackle it in this work. Basically well structured and expressive, I thought it was a good read. My one doubt came with the line "...a smile on her face." I think it should be simply "She bears it with a smile." Smiles are always on the face, unneeded words. But again, I did enjoy the read and inf act, read it twice.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia A

3 Years Ago

I agree, that line is a bit awkward... Your kind words help improve my writing. Thank you very much .. read more
Selective
not reclusive...
well not entirely.

On this stanza I would probably format it like this:
Selective.
Not reclusive;
well, not entirely.

I'm glad you took my advice, or maybe someone else's advice, that it is not necessary to punctuate every line. On this stanza, however, I think it was necessary. Or not. Maybe not. But I think it would read better that way.

Also, this is not sad at all. It's about introversion. And it's about yourself. So There is nothing sad about it. Write on!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emilia A

3 Years Ago

Yes, I found your advice very helpful! It's always nice to receive constructive criticism that helps.. read more

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Added on May 12, 2014
Last Updated on May 12, 2014
Tags: self, personal, reflection, random, description, girl

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Emilia A
Emilia A

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"Writing is feeling when your eyes cannot truly see." Obviously, I love to read and write and I ended up here! Writing is truly something that everyone can do and there is no right, or wrong. I'm j.. more..

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