blood

the point of view with a kid who has a critical disease and is on his death bead

Blood

I'm tainted with blood 

I'm tainted by grief and sorrow 

I burn bright but feel dim

I want to die in a lake of fire 

Just to buried in a bit of lava

I lost my best friend 

I lost my love

I lost everything of value to me 

My soul is ready to fly and heart rest 

I will leave some love ones alone

I know I'm young barely turned 15 

But I am not like the others I'm strange

I don't like to be different but I accpted my fate

I hate to be looked at and tried to stay hiden

I'm going not cause I don't want to live 

I'm going to hurt anyone that I get near to

I'm going to be the first to say this 

I cry because when the river gets rough 

I cry because i know I'm going to die

But I need to move on 

I'm a different type of person

But because I'm a monster a I know no matter what I do 

I cry because I'm lonely 

The river gets harder to pass 

And I'm not going to die old 

I'm glad of that

I'm already close to dead

I'm in a room were my blood is taken daily 

I'm being shot with rays of radiation

I get shots full of cell killing venom

The day after that you maybe be paying my funeral

I might live a few months or a year 

But to most of my friends I'm already long gone

Tommorow I might wake up 

Only few will remember me 

My girl visit but I can't see her

Anyone who visits where's big costumes to protect them self from me

I know I'm going to die because my doctor is giving me medicine 

But he doesn't even know what I have

My will which will be burned with me 

I figured I'm not going to be able to chose 

This is my will 

Wether to be barried or burned

I'm probably going to be burned because I have a virus

That no one knows how to kill so there going to burn me to the ground

I really don't care as long as everyone there enjoys there time there

In life there is no time to grief especially for someone like me

Let my worst enemies come visit me so they can see they did not kill me

I'm going to be forgotten in the woods 

I'm going to breath with every rough gasp 

My ashes will spread in a rotting box

I been in this blood thirsty hospital

My blood has been taken over an over 

Enough blood to fill ten gas trucks 

I've been visited by the devil 

And spat on by an angel

I have no place to go 

Not hell or heaven 

I want everyone to go after and party 

I want everyone to do many things but I'm not going to publicize this letter

I'm going to die I just want to let everyone who I left behind

To grab a dozen of crows and let them go 

As if it were a wedding that I never got to experience

And drink for every ounce of liquor I did not taste

I'm going to hide it were only my love of a life knows

I want every one who took my blood to go and drain ever last ounce of blood 

And only my little brother can reach 

And burn it with my souless body

And what I want to be burned with

My logic would only let every one know what I want

When they take the last drop of blood from me

I want to be dressed in a white piece of cloth

I want so many things

To my mom I wish her my last farewell 

Because she is the one who let me live my life young and free

To my dad who might think I might not have loved him or prefer to be left 

I want him to know that I love him and thank him for every lecture 

And every time he made me smile for no one can replace him

I want her to move on because aperrently I'm not worthy to love you 

I did love you but if you are reading this I'm dead or going to die so move on

Every time I fought with you was because one you were annoying

But I want you to know I would never want another brother no mater 

To my friends I want you guys to know that you are the best 

And with friends like you guys a guy never need to worry about anything

To those I have offended I apologize for it was my fault I hated or disliked you

No I look to the sky and see my eyes close and look at my blood 

alone

To my girl 

To my brother 

Or two you were wrong

How bad or viscous our fights become 

Because you guys always have my back

And the reson is most likely useless

My blood that is tainted by grief and sorrow

But because I never got to do many things

I'm not sad because I'm going to die 

But I'm a die a little peacefully

Knowing that I did a lot of things in my only fifteen years if my life

I'm not going to lie when anyone ask me if I'm scared of death 

I say

I am

Author's Note

pleas i tried my best please comment on grammar and i hope you like it.

Reviews

[falling_toxic_rain]

ah, this kind of scares me, in the way where it seems to be as a "farewell" and I hope it to be metaphorical.
I once again love the ending, it's so simple and sums everything up. It contradicts in a way the entire piece. I like it though. But I can't help to say, "we will all die, and we will all lose, what are you going to do before it catches you?"
Other than that, you must understand that we all have our highs and lows, and I kind of know what it feels to be oh so alone, so don't give up. okay.
stay strong,
-rain

[soulesswriter]

Haha I wrote this after talking to some one who has cancer and felt bad and many people I know have cancer so I wrote this in perspective of others . I tried my best to picture what I, or anybody else would do if they were in this position.i really appreciate your comments and like most of what u write I haven't commented but read some . My writing tends to be somber or melancholy ,I can't seem to write about something happy cause it doesn't feel write .Im real young like the story said I'm barely 15 and been through hell many times so I think of the saddest stuff but in person I'm real happy kid. This story was more dedicated to dose who already lost the battle because if it were dedicated to dose who are fighting cancer , I don't think it would help :( but I look forward to reading many more of ur stories

[soulesswriter]

I wrote the hahaha cuz someone I know asked me if I had something and what u wrote reminded me a lot of the conversation .

[falling_toxic_rain]

oh okay, thanks for the background, it helps me understand your writing a lot more. And actually the first person narration really does work, I kind of figured cancer or some other fatal sickness but wasn't sure of which one. But either way it is really good.
I totally understand what you mean, my writing tends to be same, and I myself have gone through a lot so it honestly doesn't surprise me that someone else has, I'm 2 years older than you so I get...
I look forward to reading your stuff too.