Kyra

What words can describe are in hope of drawing a picture to play out in the mind.

Tyra

 

She stares out into flames,

looking at all she lost,

her eyes slowly tearing at the sight of the burning house,

heart beating rapidly,

dark gray clouds of smoke fill the already dark sky,

the smell of burnt glass filled her lunges,

the sound of falling wood over powered the sound of her memories being burnt to cinders,

soft wimpers escape her beautiful soft pink lips,

her dirty blonde hair ran across her light green eyes,

knees weak,

the sound of sirens came near,

her hearing blocked the sound of sirens and tuned into the sound of her crackling past and late present,

her white skin becomes pailer as she thinks of her life,

her life is now smaller,

firemen by-passed her to douse the sickening flames,

hands shaky and cold in the mid-winter chill,

her faded blue mini-skirt all torn and wrinkled,

bare foot and bra-less,

white shirt,

clear tears,

splashes of water crashed into her face from the spraying of the hoses,

dirt ground turning into mud,

breeze strangling her breath,

small and scronny arms and legs dangling in dis-belief,

zoned out into the hot heat over whelming her,

she drops to her knees,

stared at the ground where firemens' foot prints rested in a heap of soaking dirt,

a bloody-accidental-strike from an axe hits the back of her precious head,

without help from her arms or hands she fell face first into her once perfect land,

blood filling the small space between her face and the mud,

a face print with a face lay down in the yard,

no one stopping to help,

too dark too see now,

flames are despearsed,

one dead survivor,

Kyra lost everything that night.

Author's Note

This is my first attempt to a descriptive poem. This poem is intended to draw a picture in oyur mind and get lost in the scene. It is a sad poem and admitting myself I can say that I cried when I read this over and drew the mini clip into my head. please enjoy and tell me how my first attempt is. critique if you must.

Reviews

[Jenny Ge]

For a first attempt at a descriptive poem, I'd say you did a great job! Fantastic imagery, I was able to "draw a picture" in my mind, like you said, although I'm sure everyone's images differ. It certainly does make me feel sad, and evoking emotions is always another way to create images.
I think there were a few spelling mistakes, but otherwise, well written.
Keep it up!