The 5th Whistle

The 5th Whistle

A Poem by Satellite Heart

Whistle one
Just begun
Whistle two
Hit a few
Whistle three
Set the bow free
Whistle four
shoot some more
Whistle five
someone cryed
their breath is short
their heart deprived
gasping in the hot gym air
nurse is absent; one less life to spare
the teachers yell and discuss the harm
and the football coach pulled the fire-alarm
blinking lights and wet faces
runny make-up and bloody braces
his shirt turned from white to red
he coughed and wimpered as he bled
I did try to warn them, that archery = Violence astrew
but they didn't listen until the 5th whistle blew.
 

© 2009 Satellite Heart


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Reviews

wow very creative! :) flows fabulously and rhymes great.

10th line "someone cryed" cryed ---> cried

Posted 13 Years Ago


This sounds like a mini-song.

Haha, well, I'm not sure those exist.
But if they did, this would be a really good one.

I like the way you structured it with no spaces, as if the separates thoughts were ultimately one.
Great use of language and rhythmic structure, too.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Oh wow! This is fantastic, sad, and thought provoking. Great job.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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221 Views
3 Reviews
Added on November 19, 2009

Author

Satellite Heart
Satellite Heart

so smalls it's not on mapquest, VA



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