To Measure Time in Miles

set in the mid 19th century, it's a contest entry but reviews would still be appreciated, thanks

 

Anna lay on the bed. It was late, but she was wide awake. Her husband of one day was next to her, indifferent. “Are you awake?” she whispered. “Yes, now,” came the grumbled reply.

            “What do you want to do?” she asked nervously. “Sleep,” he yawned. She hesitated. She probably shouldn’t ask…

            “I’ve heard that married couples…once they are married…can have a great deal of fun in bed. My mother told me…”

            “Your mother,” he hissed, “is an immoral w***e.” Anna regretted saying anything. He went on, “I, on the other hand, am a good Christian. We won’t take part in anything like that.”

            She should have stopped. She should have just let it go. But she had waited so long, she had to keep trying, it was her due. “But isn’t that needed for children? It is holy if we are creating life, isn’t it?”

            He sat upright and grabbed her. She gave a cry, but he didn’t care. He held both her shoulders and shook her violently, then held her face close to his and growled, “I am not like your spineless father, and I will not succumb to your baseness. I will take the w***e your mother raised and make her into a lady, and you will be thankful by the end of it. And we will not have children. We are better than that. We live for God, not for this world. And you will not forget that again!” At this, he released her, pushing her back down with such force that she fell to the floor. When she got up, she did not return to the bed. She quickly crossed the room, heading for the door.

            “Where are you going?”

            She choked back her tears. “I can’t live like this”

            Anna reached for the door handle, she felt the cold brass on her skin. It was an escape, a better life.

            Anna was pulled back to reality by her hair. She felt her husband’s rough hand palm the back of her head, than slam it viciously into the door. She fell. She curled up into a ball on the floor, sobbing, the blood from her nose staining her night gown. It was brand new, she had hoped tonight would be special. She felt her face, which felt broken and numb, and removed the splinters from her cheeks and lips, crying out her eyes, nose and mouth. She wasn’t crying so much as she was trying to force every last breath, every drop of water out of her body. It would be better not to live. All the while her husband stood over her, fumbling at something on the dresser beside the door. Finally, he found what he was looking for. Anna heard the click of the lock, heard his footsteps back to the bed, heard him begin to snore. He had the key with him still.

            When she had met the strange man in the field, the man who had claimed to be the devil, he had been so kind that she never even thought to mistrust him. In exchange for her soul, he said Anna could have anything she wanted. She said that she wanted to live forever, and he smiled and agreed. Now she gazed hopelessly out the window into the forests, infinite as the heavens. She could no more escape these woods than she could reach one of those distant stars above her, though she longed to. Maybe he will change. Maybe he will strike gold and leave me for someone else, she hoped against hope. The distant stars glimmered mockingly. Though perhaps not forever, Anna was sure that her life would be very long indeed.

Reviews

[Rhan F. Sydney]

Thank you for this entry. It is strange and I enjoyed that aspect greatly. I'd also love to witness this continued. You hit a very good base here. Run with it.

[Tony Woods]

This story is a tad strange, I'll say that, but not in a bad way.

I think it's interesting that this woman never realized she was married to a Christian psychopath, who apparently doesn't understand his religion's dogma. This isn't addressed at you, the writer, because I feel like maybe you're portraying society as a whole (or rather, Christian society)...people who use religion as a tool of fear or even a crutch, by proporting motives from their religion that actually aren't even in line with their religion's philosophies. This man is obviously a nut job, and a loser who beats his poor wife, who seems like a really sweet, albeit naive woman. It's really a sad story, I see from the last paragraph she'd sold her soul to the devil for eternal life, only to have a life of eternity that is...miserable. I guess that's why you shouldn't sell your soul, because you get what you want, though your wish is always granted by the "lowest bidder", if you will.

I see it's mid-century, from your description, that answered one of my questions, which was "why the hell do they have a skeleton key lock?" It all makes sense now. This also explains how someone can be so crazy with their beliefs, I mean, this man could have grown up on a farm or something and his only exposure to his religion was second hand crap from a bunch of other psychos.

Overall, the story was written very well, it's a downer, but sometimes life is a downer, I still enjoyed it. I like the hopelessness of the young girl at the end, sort of a "what the hell did I do?" type thing. Maybe he will strike it rich, doubtful, because he's a moron, but I hope for her sake he dies or something. Very good read, good luck in that contest.