Numb

In darkness

Darkness falls to where I’ve laid down

As I find I’m taken under a spell

I lay still at where I’ve fallen

No command now this body obeys

 

Synapse, still synapse again

Like electric through water

Links that never break

Until it reaches it’s destination to no avail

 

No movement now but muscle memory

From inhale to exhale, I feel the same

To the heart, reverse flowed blood make its way,

Where the symbiote quenches it’s thirst away

Reviews

[RubyOmma]

I love the science feel to this piece. I am also science minded. If I may offer a comment I found the flow to be a bit halting, but it is beautifully written. A bit hidden in the meaning, it's not direct and thrown at you. I liked it. I like the muscle memory and inhale, exhale parts the best. Thanks for sharing!

[Duke Teager]

Thanks Ruby. Much appreciated.

[Effector Prime]

a truly worthy piece
little would it be apparent to the mundane that the words above were supposed to read that way.

this man is a poet. over time indeed. blasphemy is in fact a tragic improvement

[Jasmine]

You have a few grammatical and tense sequence errors (see the first line) but altogether an interesting poem. I like the last two verses best.

Could do with a bit of tweaking, but that will come over time.