TNP 01 "Test-Osterone"

My time and life in working for the government during the Savings & Loan Crisis of 1990 with a beautiful woman who took care of absolutely everything for me in my employ. And I mean EVERYTHING.

Want to read this in a different language ? Change the TO field to your own country and click the TRANSLATE button after going HERE THE NANCY PRINCIPLE © July 2013 Written by David Wicker Please do not reprint without permission FOREWARD I believe I was hired at this time to work for BBI because of the financial crisis during 1990. I was requested and kept for the job because of my fast and 100% accurate typing and data-entry skills, which I learned a great deal of when I worked for my Dad earlier as his Office Manager from his private practice in Psychology. I was talking with Jed, a good friend of mine recently about difficulties he was having at work and as I was replying with suggestions and advice he said - something - that triggered these memories of a job I had working for the government for 3-months that I had long since forgotten, when I was in my 20s. It all came back to me in a flood of memories, starting with a flood of a burst of tears in memory of Nancy. My psychiatrist told me that this is from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and she suggested that I write it all down, everything that happened, to get it out of my head, as it was causing me such grief. So I wrote down the main pieces of my time there in my 3-months employment, in just one night from my recollection of it, several pages in fact, starting at about 7pm that night till 6am the following morning. I had to get it all out as it seemed vitally important for me to remember it all, right then. And it is not going to be covered as a short-story because of it's length and depth as I will be very detailed describing almost every day that I worked there, despite it being remembered all in one night so it is likely going to be a novel all it's own. To protect the name of the company I worked for years ago as they would likely deny any usage of a contract of this nature for any of their employees, no matter how autistic they might be, especially because of it's apparently illegal nature and could be easily interpreted as a high level of sexual harassment to it's employees who signed it were it brought before a court of law. And now for your reading reflection, "The Nancy Principle"   CHAPTER 1 - TEST-OSTERONE This chapter has included in it original FAN-ART ! If you would like to contribute your own at any point in the story, then SEND me a URL of the website containing your art and I will insert it directly in the writing, complete with your own website's address and credits to you, the artist. To track the artists listed in this chapter, click on the illustrations where they appear below. Rated: EVERYONE Hello. I am David and I am having difficulty finding work because while I type well I have no other business skills and certainly no skills whatsoever in socializing or handling emotional difficulties. I remember initially applying for this job, it said "Data-Entry Specialist Wanted" in the newspaper and I called them up on the phone. It rang for a moment and a pretty voice answered, "BBI. This is Jenny speaking, how can I help you ?" I spoke a little nervously on the phone, "I'm looking for work please ?" Listening to my quiet and timid voice, her manner changed completely and she lowered her speaking age until it was like she was a teacher talking a young student who aced the spelling quiz from 4th grade. "Well I'm so happy for you. Did you see our ad in the newspaper, honey ?" "I sure did !" I said a little excitedly now, and then I told her what I tell all people when I was looking for work, "I type well." I said it so carefully and slowly because I knew was the one thing I was exceptionally good at. There was a long pause on the phone as if she was expecting me to mention some other job skills I had, any at all, and well, really, I didn't. It was a long pause indeed. She finally gave like a puff of air on the phone as if she was holding it in her chest all this time. "Well good for you !" she said not so politely but tried to sweeten her tone near the end, seeing I wasn't going to add any more. "Well what we are looking for is a part-time employee for data-entry. And I'll be honest with you. I don't know if you can keep up as there is a lot of typing involved. Do you think you could keep up, hun ?" I got a little upset for a moment because it really sounded like she didn't think I could do it, but I replied, "I'd like to try if I can please, ma'am ?" "Hold please." she said with an obvious smile in her voice and then put me on hold. I heard the silly background music for about a minute. Finally her voice came back and I heard whispering as apparently she had called some of her co-workers over to talk about it. "Okay. We're willing to give it a shot here because we really do need to fill this position as soon as possible with the crisis we're having. You need to come in tomorrow morning at 10am and we'll test you, okay, hun ?" And then she gave me directions on how to get over there. For a moment I was a little concerned because I didn't have a business suit or anything so I asked, "Ma'am. I don't have a suit or anything is that okay ?" She replied back, "You don't have the job yet, honey ! Don't get your hopes too high ! It's not going to be easy. We're just gonna test you to see how well you do. It sounds like you're good. Let's hope you are. Wear whatever you want. See you tomorrow, okay ?" I replied back,"Ok. Thanks. Tomorrow morning, 10am. I'll be there." "Thanks, goodbye." she said like she was getting tired of the call and hung up. I drove on over there and arrived at 9:50am, wearing just a comfortable videogame shirt, my big blue ballcap with a pretty heart I got from a craft store years earlier, and some baby blue shorts I had and that came up past my knees and sat in the waiting room. I didn't know what else to do so I sat in the chair. There was a receptionist's desk but I didn't think she would know what to do, so I waited to see if someone would come talk to me first. After about a moment of silence, I noticed that she had seen me sitting in the office all alone and had gotten up to leave in a door behind her to talk to someone that was sitting there in a smaller office. After a minute I heard an electric buzz and a short time later and a door opened in front of me to the right. A pretty woman about my age clicked her high-heels over to me. I saw the receptionist come back to sit in her chair and gave me a knowing look. She had apparently called someone out to talk to me. She was very crisp, "Excuse me, are you here for the data-entry job ?" I answered, "Yes I am, please." She looked at me a moment but didn't offer me a handshake or anything. "I see." she said very neutrally. "Sit here for a minute." I was already sitting so I didn't understand why she said that, like I was going to bounce up and leave or something. Then she went over to the receptionist. They whispered to each other for a moment. The girl from the buzzing door looked over her shoulder for a moment and then finally retrieved a clipboard with a pen from the receptionist and came back over to me. She held the clipboard in her hand a moment, still not especially eager to give it to me. After a moment, she finally did and entered crisp mode again, "Fill this out to the best of your ability and we'll see what can be done." And then it was really odd because she didn't go back inside but sat a few chairs over from me and waited for to finish it, sitting cross-legged and wiggling her toe like she was impatient. That really made me nervous so I didn't know if I was being timed on it or anything so I filled it out quickly so I wouldn't waste her time ! It was different from other applications I was used to. While it asked the usual name, age, SS, address, etc. there were no questions or spaces to write about my previous work history as if someone had recently taken a pair of scissors to all the application copies to remove it. I got up from my chair to return it to the receptionist but the buzzer girl sitting next to me said, "Oh. I'll take that. Please sit down for a moment." I did. She looked at it quickly with the pen in her hand almost touching the paper with it's tip, tracking down each item, seeing if I missed anything. I hoped I hadn't as that would likely count against my attempt at employment there. Then she paused on one spot of the paper with the pen and looked at me and bit her lip giving me an odd smile. She then made a clear and quick 'X' on it from her hand movement while slanting her eyes at me, somewhat frightening really as she did it, but I couldn't tell for what and then clipped the pen back to the top before tucking it under her arm entering serious mode again. "That's fine. Let's get you tested. All set ?" she asked. I nodded. "Oh, by the way," she added, "My name is Jeanette, and I work in Personnel. I think you spoke earlier with Jenny, our receptionist." and then she offered me her hand to shake. "Follow me please." There was the familiar buzz of the door as the receptionist hit a switch and she went through it, holding the door open for me as I walked past her. "Just to the end of the hall please - " she said as I walked past her but she paused continuing to hold the door open, "David." and then laughed a bit as if that were somehow a joke. I didn't want to make her mad so I just walked down the hall to the door. She was right behind me so I opened it up for her reading the sign on the door first which said, "Testing Room 03" As I entered, I noticed it was all girls inside, 3 inside, counting Jeanette who was still holding my application. And these girls were NICE. I mean really attractive, about my age which was 23 I think at the time. They all had shortie little skirts and pantyhose and stank (and I mean that in a nice way) of perfume. They wore eyeshadow, lipgloss, the works. Just enough I think to legally get away with it I think before being requested to go back home and put something else on more appropriate. "Over here, please, David." Jeanette said seeing I was a little shocked at seeing such pretty young girls in such a serious work environment. And she motioned me to sit down at a table where there was a computer, mouse, and keyboard waiting. The first words out of her mouth were, "Don't touch anything, David. Just a moment." And then she leaned over my shoulder her pretty hair right up in my mouth, as she typed on the computer to bring up a program, as she promised to test my typing ability. Finally she said, "This will test your typing accuracy and speed. All set ?" I nodded. Illustration by CPT-Plaid "OK. Begin !" and she hit the Spacebar and I saw a timer start above. Well, this is just me, I type with the keyboard at a hard 45-degree angle, it's what I've always learned all my life and I don't know any different so I wasted a good second grabbing the keyboard and rotated it carefully counter-clockwise until I was satisfied with the angle. "The clock is running !" she said irritated that I would take the time to do that but I was already typing as she spoke and as I did I could tell she didn't turn around to walk away but stepped backwards, like she was shocked or something. I hurriedly typed as well as I could and made sure it was 100% accurate as I did so. There was a pleasant ding a full minute later and I noticed the keyboard locked up so I couldn't type anymore. She was back over my shoulder in a heartbeat. And then used the mouse around my right shoulder to click on a PRINT button at the bottom. The printer furiously spat out the results and there was a moment's wait as it finished. "Sit here for a moment, please." she said entering her crisp mode again during the printing. I nodded and put my hands in my lap. She tore off the paper at the top when it finished and then went back to talk to the other 2 girls in the room while looking at the sheet. They all whispered to each other, not very long I noticed. Maybe that was a good sign ? Then Jeanette came back and grabbed a rolling chair to the right of me and sat down in it and said, "David ?" I rotated my chair to look at her. She waited until I was looking right at her, and then tilted her face downwards like somebody pulled a wire down on her chin, "I'm sorry honey, but what we're looking for here is data-entry specialists. We appreciate you coming by but you're just not what we're looking for, okay hun ? I hope you find a job soon and you have a great day." And she held her hand out for me to shake. But I wasn't going to take it like this just yet. "Didn't I do well on the test ?" She set her hand down in her lap for a bit and bit her lip before explaining. "David, you did VERY well, and that's the problem. You're obviously a top-notch typist as you got the highest score on that test, but we're not looking for a typist, we're looking for a data-entry specialist, okay hun ? I'm sorry." She raised her hand back up and the look on her face showed me she really didn't want an argument out of me at this point. I was defeated. I shook her hand and she gave me a smile like she really thought I was pathetic so I tried one more stab, "I do program, you know ?" She pulled back her hand, "Computer software ? How many years, David ?" I answered back, "Well, all my life really, I guess." "You stay right here !" she said looking a little excited and then bounced up from her chair as if a bubble popped under her butt and then dashed over to the other girls to whisper with them a bit more excitedly this time. They did this for a bit, then got quieter. Then finally Jeanette was the only one whispering while the other 2 girls listened carefully, nodding. Jeanette then walked back over to me and turned my chair back around for me so I was facing the computer again and her voice had a more serious tone to it, "OK. You say you can program, that's a bit like data-entry, we haven't had any more applicants for this job so we're going to give you another shot at it." She reached back over me and my mouth was full of her hair again but obviously I didn't say anything. Besides, it smelled really sweet too, like fruit. I liked it. She brought up a 2nd test and then explained, "David. This one is going to be a lot harder, okay, hun ? Normally we don't do this on your first visit, but we don't think we're going to find anyone else to fill this position. And now listen to me, this is IMPORTANT, what we're looking for here is NOT speed but accuracy. Type this out as accurately as you can." She added, "This is critical. This will decide whether or not you get this job, okay ? And ... BEGIN !" and she hit the spacebar again. The screen changed. It was all random digits and letters ! Fortunately I had the advantage, much like a game of chess because my keyboard was already tilted and she didn't tilt it back so I had that extra second to get situated to the new challenge at hand. Fortunately it was all just the alphabet and digits and nothing more complex, but it was in sets of 6 followed by dashes that filled the whole screen. Much like entering passwords for registering software as there was no rhyme or reason to the order they were in. I realized I was actually going about it being 100% accurate so I notched up my typing speed a bit until my fingers were a blur. The familiar ding sounded again and I set my hands in my lap. This time, no words at all, she was deathly silent. She reached around to hit the PRINT button and then ripped out the printed paper, hard, like she was mad or something. She just looked at it without bothering to share it with the other girls now. She was obviously impressed by what I did but then tried hard to suppress it. She got crisp in her voice again and said tiredly, "Okay, David. That's all for now. Go home, we'll call you with the phone number you left if we need you." She escorted me out past the buzzing door and I was back in the reception room. And that was the best I could do. I drove back home and wondered if I got hired I could request to work in that nice testing room with all those 4 pretty sweet-smelling girls as likely they were nowhere else in the complex. So when I finally got home I dabbled a bit on the computer and waited by the phone, and no call. I sighed and went to bed and in the morning picked up the newspaper to see what other jobs were still out there. As I started looking though I received a phone call, no hello, or anything. "Did yer recentee apple-eye to BBI fer a data-entrer job with er Jeanette ?" a man's gruff voice and slightly distorted at that as if he was chewing on something, asked on the other side of the phone as if any and all other questions he had about me were already answered prior to making the call. "Yessir, I did." I replied. He continued, "Well, I'mmer calling regarder ther results of yer dater-entrer test. I need to see yer right now." "When ?" I squeaked. I wasn't dressed or anything. "NOW !" he growled, very clear to hear over the phone. I got all excited ! "Yessir ! I'll - I'll be over there at once !" "Dass fine," he said with clearly no enthusiasm in his voice to match mine, "see yer soon." he said and then clicked the phone. END OF CHAPTER 1 Return back HOME   You are Earth Visitor #

Author's Note

I will try and post a new chapter daily in here if I can remember or am reminded.

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

Hey DW,

Fascinating stuff. I haven't quite finished, shelved so I can later. My initial thoughts. Your prose works well. I might consider cutting down the forward. I think you give away too much of the story. And you can always add an afterward later. Loved the phone call bit; might cut down on the application part and that's how far i've gotten. Yeah, nice. I'll come back for more.

[dw817]

Yah, that's not such a bad idea. I get a little carried away in my forewards for my books. Because this particular one is non-fiction, I feel like I have to give a confessional to a priest to explain my position in it. I'll cut it down in size, thanks.

[The dark story]

nice start. and quite interesting.. but i do wonder that keeping the keyboard in a 45 degree angle makes it an easier thing or not?

[dw817]

Actually, it's quite helpful and forces me to type correctly. Holding the camera in my mouth, I took this picture sometime ago for CPT-Plaid to help him illustrate above.
http://gg.gg/gcqd

He was illustrating my hands being nervous and asked how I wanted that drawn for my book so using the same camera technique, I sent him this.
http://gg.gg/gcqm

Here is one I took today (Sep 1 2013). The angle I type at today is almost vertical, which I find is the best way to type for me. I didn't use a timer so you don't see my fingers on it as I'm holding the camera in my hands.
http://gg.gg/gcqi

So, yes, tilting the keyboard makes all the difference in the world to me. I inherited two laptop computers but since I can't tilt the keyboard on them to type effectively I gave them both to my sister. I will always want a pull-out keyboard so I can tilt it. :)

[The dark story]

what...you gave it as you can't tilt them?
i never realized that tilting it makes a difference...i will definitely make typos in that case as well.

[dw817]

It makes a BIG difference for me. I know I started out with the keyboard facing me like a horizontal strip, but more and more I kept shoving it with the flat of my right palm over time, tilting it counter-clockwise. And at first I thought it was carelessness on my part.

But nope ! It was my brain telling me it's looking to ultimately type completely vertical on a keyboard. And the more it's tilted, the more I concentrate on speed and accuracy, so it's cool stuff !

[Cory Firestine]

So far, an interesting intro. You already have a balanced main character, he has exceptional skill though socially awkward. Very good!

[dw817]

That balanced main character who is socially awkward - is me. :) This is a non-fictional story, my recount of working at a government job, BBI, during the Savings & Loan Crisis of 1990.

Glad you like it. Once I finish the non-fictional elements (should be the end of this week), I'll add my own fictional account of how I marry Nancy and - then it enters a Science Fiction Mystery plot. Hope to see you there !

[Cory Firestine]

I am enjoying it so fa, you sure will.

[MandaBear]

Definitely interesting! I wish I could type with 100% accuracy too! Anyway good story and cant wait to read more!

[dw817]

Well I don't think I type 100% accurate today. My speed is up there definitely. I do see some spelling errors occasionally. I know Dad taught me accuracy when I worked for him as office manager when I was 16. He would scream and yell at me if I made a single typo on a 10-page report.

At first I thought that was a bit extreme but then I got used to it - and today, I think every little bit of accuracy he taught me helps. :)

[ThoughtsofShyann]

I LIKED IT IT WAS AWESOME!

[dw817]

I'm glad you did !

If you look just under the red house icon above, you'll see a button there marked, "Next Chapter" and you're welcome to check out the remaining chapters I've written so far. I'll also post a new one, the 6th entry tomorrow. Hope to see you there ! :)

[Mark]

Okay, I'm hooked! Very mysterious so far, I must read more.

[dw817]

I'll certainly post the 3rd chapter Sunday. Glad you're liking it. Sometimes what happens in one life can be interesting - especially if the government is involved. :)

[Mark]

beautiful women, hard boiled boss, computer stuff, fancy locked doors... it's got po!

[dw817]

Just wait, it gets really crazy very quickly.

It's funny, I talked to Chris about it and he said I am completely insane to believe this all happened back then. I talked to Carlos though who is almost 80-years old and he nods his head and says that many things like this happened to him years ago when he worked for the government too.

They are a strange lot. :7

[Riding the Rainbow]

Really good chapter, my friend;)
I liked how you described every single feeling, smell and so on..
This book is very different from the things I've read so far and this is a good thing..I get bored easily and wanting to read more, it's great;)))
K.

[dw817]

I'm glad you like it ! I have a very strong sense of smell, to the point it will bring back memories from the past. I know when me and Chris go to visit his Dad in the nursing home, there is - some kind of cleanser they use in there, lemony. And it's twinging at some distant memories from when I was a child. I haven't isolated them yet, but when I do, I'll work them into Barrier.

I'll post a new chapter later today.

[Wall of Words]

I love it. :) You did an great job of putting your experience in words! The descriptions of the smells, the people, the voices.. I felt like I was getting the interview! A 45* angle on your keyboard, huh? Haha. I do the same thing when I write on paper. XD

Just one correction: At the end, you wrote...
"NOW !" he scowled.
You were on the phone, so there's no way you could've seen him scowl.
Maybe try to use so other type of word to describe his irritation?

Amazing story! :)
Sylvia.

[dw817]

Actually - I did. If you check, you'll see that I wrote above and I could tell when someone was smiling at me as well. Voices can be tinged with emotion, and you can definitely hear it on the phone. For instance, Rose called me a month ago. Despite her telling me she was, "fine," I could tell something was wrong from the tone of her voice.

As it turned out, Miss Bert, her pet squirrel had died. "Fine." is just one word that can be spoken with so many inflections it can mean many things. Raising the pitch at the end might mean this person is smiling and wants to see you. If it's flat, it's normal. If it's dragged and tremulous, there's a problem somewhere.

No, I could tell when she smiled at me on the phone in amusement as her lips were pursed in her speech and I could definitely tell when he scowled at me (or perhaps growled would be better ?) from the tone of his gravelly voice. So yes, I'll change that.

My Dad is a psychologist and one thing he taught me to do was read body language over the telephone, especially since I was his office manager for several years starting at the age of 14. Not only was I to take messages but to write down what I thought their mood was. Apparently this was to help Dad later when he called them back as their mood might be different then.

I'll use the word, "growled," thanks for the review ! :)

[Ellie EM]

This is really different and interesting! Keep it up! And is that a picture of Liz Lemon? Idk her real name...lol :p

[dw817]

I'm not sure. I did a Google Image Search of female managers and she came up. I was trying to get as closely as I could to the appearance and body language of my manager, Nancy. This is a pretty close match.

The ending chapter icon is also the way she appeared sometimes. She always seemed to be amused by my appearance. In a way I believed she loved me and it broke my heart to finally leave her. I'm not sure ...

[Ellie EM]

Oh okay but the ending chapter Icon is a image of Liz Lemon from a show called 30 Rock...lol. :p but, I believe she plays a manager in the show, so it all good! ^^

[Mizo4]

nice read, interesting story so far and good character build up

[dw817]

Thanks ! This is the only non-fictional story I've ever written Online before. I do meet some curious and confusing characters once I start working here, however. One of course being NANCY herself.