Snapshot 8-18-16

This is a reworking of "old wheelbarrow." I think I like this one much better, though I know it needs work.

Snapshot 8-18-16

old wheelbarrow.
abandoned near woods.
lying on straw and dirt;
rusted and tarnished, used to carry
soil and bricks; colors faded
retired.
resting uneven, 
is it only destined to waste away with rolling
years, has it served its purpose?

Rolling snapshots of memories allude to junctures of childhood.

Yelling with glee,  we went, my sister and me
as it advanced down the hill!

Sometimes just me with dad, 
pushing me in the barrow
around the yard, under the tree in the summer breeze, followed by a hug and an ice tea. 

These memories, I cherish; links to 
the past. cherished reflections

Faded into obsolescence. a period of easiness,
that implied simplicity; now a simple snapshot of a thought.

Author's Note

Please read "old wheelbarrow" first. This is where this one came from. In fact, this is a reconstruction of that poem. Be real and honest with me.

Reviews

[Robert Haigh]

The first version [Old Wheelbarrow] works fine, but this second edition works even better. I think it was important to break this second version up into stanzas/short paragraphs like you did. However, the first version stands perfectly well as a single block of prose poetry. But yes, I do slightly prefer the expanded edition!

[eaglepoet]

Hello Robert.

Thanks again for the kind words. As it stands on its own, old wheelbarrow was one of my stronger writes, but at the same time, I felt it could be better. I like this expanded version better because the stanzas serve as snapshots of the memories I'm sharing. Snippets of what I remember. Once again, thanks a lot.

[raven]

i like how it has a hint of old records and autumn to it, with the rusty wheelbarrow in the cold and dirt. i like the words you have chosen and their natural flow. very enjoyable and dreamy.

[eaglepoet]

Thanks for the kind words rea. It's interesting the inspiration moments of childhood have to offer. It's still out back. There's a comfort there.

[raven]

yes that's very true. look back and you'll always find a soft hand and a nice aroma to lift your spirits.