Food Flash

The government never issues enough food stamps per family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She:“What? No bread?”

 

He: “I was hungry!”

 

She: “You’re always hungry, Mr. Pig! What happened? There aren’t any potatoes, eggs, bread or meat left for me!”

 

He: “You were taking a nap!”

 

She: “That doesn’t mean you don’t leave me anything for dinner!”

 

He: “Sorry! You told me not to wake you, once you sacked out.”

 

She: “That didn’t mean you should wipe out enormous amounts of food while I sleep. I hope you get indigestion!”

 

He: “I think I already have it.”

 

She: “And, I suppose there aren’t any Rolaids or Tums.”

 

He: “I ate them for dessert.”

 

She: “All of them?”

 

He: “I had to have something sweet.”

 

Next Week

 

 It became a war, now.

 

 It pissed her off everytime she opened refrigerator and cabinet doors to find them empty. Only two moldy carrots, a few chopped onions, a spoonful of relish, and a squirt of ketchup were left besides the slice of cheese she hid from him days ago behind the carrots.

 

 Bread wasn't available for a sandwich so she wrapped the cheese around the onions, ketchup and relish pretending there were hotdogs and buns included. She was determined to eat almost everything, before he rose from his nap.

 

 When he finally woke up, he noticed her sitting on the bed watching him, her mouth covered in ketchup.

 

“Anything left for me?” he asked, anxiously.

 

“Do you still hate carrots, dear?”

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jacqueline]

Man, it's scary that this sort of thing can and does happen! You put your infectious, biting, dark and humorous spin on a sad situation and for the life of me I couldn't stop giggling. Lack of food will bring out the savage in anyone; including lovers!

[James K. Blaylock]

Hey, I have known people that do these sick things to one another. That it such a sad way to live. But I gotta real jolt from your funny tale... once again!

[Yvonne Heidt]

Loved it - once again your sarcastic story telling is funny - yet - so true at the same time. It is a very real problem what people are expected to live on - there really is never enough.

Great job.

[Albert Freeman]

lol ok this was brilliant writing. Straight to the point. I love it. Still laughing. I insist you do follow ups on these two.