Her Name was Carolina (prompt 1)

A short story written for a contest with one rule, nothing longer then 1500 words. I took a shot in the dark and this is what came out of my flighty fingers!

Her name was Carolina

"Quite the ridiculous name, if you ask me."

"Marty, please."

A flash went off, making Marty jump and look towards the camera boy.

"Listen, Tommy, I didn't mean to insult you. It's just, well, look at her."

I rubbed my pointer finger across the cold brick, deep soot washed over it, like a blanket holding a small child, It covered every little spot."

"What do you think did that?"

"Coal, it's cheap and warm. S**t covers everything though, from floor to ceiling."

Marty kept quiet. Another flash went off while heavy foot steps walked above.

"No lights?"

"Nah. rats chewed through the wires a while back, as it seems". I bent down slowly and touched her face. Cold and disfigured, all hiding behind a deep layer of the coal after effect.

"Man are you sure she's gone? I mean she was obviously skin and bones before this". Marty pointed while keeping his distance. He always did in these types of cases.

I don't want to invade their personal space

God, was Marty stupid.

Another flash burned through our vision, this time making me jump.

"Marty, I need you to stop talking". As I said this Marty's smile faded and he got intense.
"Listen Tommy, I hate these cases, Just because I'm f****n' ranked under you doesn't mean you can bring me to all these hot spots!" His motions got erratic, he pointed his gnarled fingers at me as he spat his words.

The five foot eight kid was trying to over power me, all in an over sized, poorly made suit.

I continued to stare at the body and as I stood up I began to answer his jargon.

"This isn't some cold case Marty, you need to respect these people, you understand me?"

Of course you f*****g don't

"Tommy, it isn't like I hate this job! It's just-"

He paused and let down his guard while I silently looked on. Blood splattered, giving the grey charcoal floors a dark sheen.

"well Mary and I- Mary and I want a little kid. I can't do it with this job though. Mary's worried for me."
"There's an opening position in the meter maid department, that might be your style then". Marty had a look to him that made him hate me ever slightly more, yet he didn't talk back. He just stood there, letting flashlight beams hit his face and small cop talk enter the stuffed up cellar room.

I moved around the room a little bit more trying to examine what was left of the ransacked world.

"Who the hell even names their child Carolina? Was the father some drunk slurring his words?"

I kept silent.

" I hate that name. If I ever have a baby girl, I-"

I gave Marty eye contact which scared him a bit, what a rare occurrence.

"Marty, why do think the blood isn't dried? Why the coals still burn? How do you think we knew about this so fast?"

I walked closer to him, making our noses barely touch. Like an animal caught in mid range, he froze.

"It's my Grand-Mother's name, Marty. We named her after my Grand-Mother."

Another flash lit up the room.
Neither one of us jumped.

 

Reviews

[Jocie de Jaune]

wow this is amazing! I thought my story had a twist at the end hahah! the way you described the flashes as the photographs were taken througout really made the story for me and the dialogue was very beleivable! Only thing was that hot spots in the sentance:"...doesn't mean you can bring me to all these hot spots!" feels somewhat out of place. great short story, keep on writing! :)

[efry96]

I should add that with my writing style I usual do bold Italics for thought processes, some people don't get it. If you were one of those persons, I just wanted to help you out!