Sangria stars

Sangria stars

A Poem by eglantine

I sit here,

            cat on my lap,

            an evergreen forest in my lungs

                                    and silver fish in my heart.

 

Your blue eyes are beneath these typewriter keys,

                                    behind every sheet of paper.

 

“I will always find you,” you whispered as our stars ripped apart.

 

 

And you did,

 

                        on a May night warm with sangria and bonfire:

                                    we made eye contact

                                    and our souls crashed

 

                                    into each other

 

                                    like wave against wave,

 

                                    starlight against starlight.


© 2015 eglantine



Author's Note

eglantine
Title suggestions? I'm stuck...

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G!o
This is beautiful. Is there a better word to say that? The imagery is a 5/5. When i began reading it, i was like (an eyebrow rose) but the second line, grabbed me by the throat and i was gasping for more and more of what's coming next. I love every sentence and the perfection in it.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It is funny how life has a way of working out. Your poem is very poignant and I am so glad that your souls crashed into each other!

Posted 1 Year Ago


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G!o
This is beautiful. Is there a better word to say that? The imagery is a 5/5. When i began reading it, i was like (an eyebrow rose) but the second line, grabbed me by the throat and i was gasping for more and more of what's coming next. I love every sentence and the perfection in it.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

If u can just use more rhymes and lenghten ur work and just some more words it will create mesmerizing effects and the title can be anything because ur choice of words in the poem are different from others
And surely better

Posted 2 Years Ago


eglantine

2 Years Ago

Thanks for the suggestions but I'm not really the rhyming kind of poet.
Ashwin Thakur

2 Years Ago

You are always welcome you can also read some of my poems
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The title is perfect and very cool sounding. The poem is well crafted and comes off as very professional. There are also some amazing lines in it. Read it twice, once out loud...tis flawless! If it were voted upon you would have my vote for Laureate.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

eglantine

2 Years Ago

aw why thank you Mark! I appreciate it. I actually have not read it out loud yet... surprisingly. No.. read more
Mark Anthony Cotterman

2 Years Ago

smiling...you really must. try having someone else read it to you. has a tad of surprise to it.
This is well written. The title is fine; just made a note of all fancy/vaguely related words and use them when appropriate.

Posted 2 Years Ago


eglantine

2 Years Ago

Thank you Mr. Edwards--hope all is well
This is amazing! I like how you gradually made it from simple to fiery! But I don't know what Sangria means. If it's not a bother, can you please explain?

Posted 2 Years Ago


eglantine

2 Years Ago

Hello, thanks! Sangria is a wine/juice blended drink :)
beyond Romantic, it feels karmic, a love that repeats from one lifetime to another

Posted 2 Years Ago


You always paint with such enchanted, abstract colors... filled with such dancing imagery... You take us deep into these profound moments of your heart and soul...

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

as for the title, well, you have your pick of symbols/metaphors you can use.

typewriter
Stars
Eyes
Waves

I think those are the main ones you can play with to create a title.

maybe, "Sangria Stars"

(Sangre in spanish translates to "blood" - hence what Sangria is supposed to resemble).

and given the somber tone, perhaps it is fitting.

Plus, it just sounds cool.



Posted 2 Years Ago


eglantine

2 Years Ago

oooo I think I'll do that. Sangria Stars does sound lovely. Thank you!

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Added on March 4, 2015
Last Updated on March 6, 2015

Author

eglantine
eglantine

Somewhere Someplace



About
I graduated with my B.A. in English (emphasis creative writing) My ultimate goal is to be the U.S. Poet Laureate and to be a college professor of poetry. I'm a wildflower with a poetic soul. I'm als.. more..

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