Sangria stars

I sit here,

            cat on my lap,

            an evergreen forest in my lungs

                                    and silver fish in my heart.

 

Your blue eyes are beneath these typewriter keys,

                                    behind every sheet of paper.

 

“I will always find you,” you whispered as our stars ripped apart.

 

 

And you did,

 

                        on a May night warm with sangria and bonfire:

                                    we made eye contact

                                    and our souls crashed

 

                                    into each other

 

                                    like wave against wave,

 

                                    starlight against starlight.

Author's Note

Title suggestions? I'm stuck...

Reviews

[G!o]

This is beautiful. Is there a better word to say that? The imagery is a 5/5. When i began reading it, i was like (an eyebrow rose) but the second line, grabbed me by the throat and i was gasping for more and more of what's coming next. I love every sentence and the perfection in it.

[Alessander]

as for the title, well, you have your pick of symbols/metaphors you can use.

typewriter
Stars
Eyes
Waves

I think those are the main ones you can play with to create a title.

maybe, "Sangria Stars"

(Sangre in spanish translates to "blood" - hence what Sangria is supposed to resemble).

and given the somber tone, perhaps it is fitting.

Plus, it just sounds cool.

[eglantine]

oooo I think I'll do that. Sangria Stars does sound lovely. Thank you!

[Leslie Philibert]

Eglantine is a very talented young poet, that all young writers should look at, as a example of accomplished writing. This all works, the line structure, the use of italics, the way the narrative is based on a initial observation, and most of all the excellent creative imagery, full of surprises yet finely observed. Read this !

[eglantine]

Aw, thanks! I always appreciate your reviews.

[...]

Title, hmmm...dunno but the image here is becoming :) You're a beautiful writer