On Bitter Tides

The iron ticking of the moon's

star-heavy pendulum

sings like my breath into this trepid 

black sky--

 

        and you remain

        in the crevice

        we call horizon  

 

I cannot go there

for there is not here, where I

try to re-pair zebra shells

but they don't stick together.  They

fall back on the sand in a pile of

half-shells, unable to close,

doomed to remain gaping 

and swallowing

back-wash.

Reviews

[Hidden Happiness]

its so creative..and i love how i get such a vivid image...great job:).

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

trepid works..the mind leaps over a cavernous, indefinite space between your breath and the black sky..the word "fearful" would not have worked for the reader's soul or yours.

you had me at the first line and zebra shell craft making. I see a bridge where the sigh hiccups empty/negative space.

learning wears a tutu and coughs hunger here..that's an excellent call to grace if you ask me


I should probly stop listening to the doors and drinking while I post reviews, but oh well, lol

[Darryl Davis]

A lot of scenery, perhaps too much. It's hard to find meaning or direction here, much like a crossroads in a dark woods...which way shal the reader go? A hard question to answer given the reader seems excluded from the piece.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

I am having difficulty in contemplating the meaning...but your words sure are interesting the way you weave them in a lyrical necklace...

[Johnny (Static Shock) W..]

This give the readers a great visual image in their mind as they read it through. This was well written and enjoyable. Hope to read more from you soon.

[.......]

This is really Good, quite the enjoyable read.

[Juliet]

really descriptive, this was pretty good! Hope to hear more from you :)