The ballet of writing

I've walked en pointe all night like fingertips

across once-polished light.  I want to lie

my soles against the stage like lily pads, but my ankles

are locked straight.  My toes bleed and my hair

unwrapped itself into an overgrown kelp bloom.

 

Nuit has four corners, just like the shape

of my breath and I've never understood symmetry--

 

my legs are longer than my shadow which twirls

around my pirouettes.  My bleeding muscles

are wrapped like satin ribbon around my bones

 

and I dance like drops of ink in a glass of water.

Reviews

[P.J.]

Hope you manage to do it justice with a title - twinkle toes is a bit cheesy but made me laugh :) Wonderful composition again - only thing i felt didnt quite go was 'my hair unwrapped itself into an overgrown...' whether or not the relationship between unwrapping and overgrowing is a valid one, im not sure. Just a point but not that important. Look forward to more :)

[Hidden Happiness]

once again you did a great job...beautiful picture and wonderful words...fantabulous!
oh n pls read my new writings if you get the time...:):);).

[emrick]

I couldnt get the theme.do u mind tellin me the message in this poem.

[Le parisien]

that's very curious, the more i read the more i like it, it's like you kept the best for the last verses, especially for the last one which is an amazing end to the poem :)

[r. f. jordan]

The word within this well-constructed piece, that swirled me into an an emotional parallel plane was "nuit"., If in reference to a Thelema goddess, which i believe it to be, than the idea of assigning "corners" carries what i believe to be a counter-truth within paradox. as the idea of this stretches to the last line, i'm intrigued by the idea of the visual having corners, especially if i lose the symmetry to believe there should only be four. expertly crafted vision. if it were me, in title, i'd go with a thinly veiled double-entendre' like "having had it".

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

"slicing opacity", there's duality in that
or "quasi-geometric opacity"
and I think you understand symmetry better than you think
you're seeing precise movements from the perspective of a frustrated mind, here
it's dark, it's morose, and it's honest and beautiful and real
and if I grant you your inability to comprehend symmetry
your consistently involved imagery is symmetric in my warped mind
maybe that's something, lol

[Mars Samuel]

I'll be honest, but I had to look up some of the words, a fault on my part not yours. It's good. Really good in a way I'm not really used to. The images are amazing. I imagine the ink drops in water as if the reaction is happening even more slowly than they probably are.
Can I ask what the pond theme comes from?

[Dream Eater]

i love it its amazing sad / really good i found it just like my life really good job