1 Corinthians

For Mr. and Mrs. Garrison Wall, August 4^th, 2012

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind.

 

We all must pass through the valley of winter

at least a few times during the cycle of breath

on our way to the lake warm with sun.

We must all venture in the unknown expanse, arm

faithfully outstretched like a wave reaching for shore,

a flame for the stars, my best friend for a man I consider

a brother.

 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 

Not every road is paved in sapphire and it does

not always lead to the winning lottery ticket, but

today you both gain a life-long companion to travel

every dust-scarred trail and thorn-pricked path with.  

 

⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

 

The mute sun bathes the moon in solar blush and the moon

sings like a mocking jay, quietly

in the dark for its star-crossed lover.

 

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

 

The heart can easily become as heavy

as the earth we walk on.  A photograph taught

me how to prevent this: tie your bitter

words to a string and let the balloon take them away.

 

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 

Words are translated through speech

and through action: a kiss, a glance, holding both hands

and heart.  Skin whispers on skin and pulse sings to pulse,

like beluga whales in the grey-blue arctic.

 

⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

Keep each other’s hearts clasped in your souls

oyster, its nacre-lined locket and continue to cultivate

it with tenderness and trust: the heart, a pearl, shines

luminescent within a faithful grasp.

 

⁸ Love never fails.

 

The heart cannot rust and the soul cannot tarnish.

Speech fades and skin pales,

hair thins and sight dims,

muscles atrophy and heartbeats cease.

Life slips, but love lasts.  Our souls carry

that moon-blushed pearl into the heavenly ‘forever after’

and like a beluga’s song, it calls out for its match

that was kept tucked in a dark locket in life, but now

shines bright like sun-sparks.  They call out to each other

like fireflies, warm paper lanterns dangling tenderly in the dark:

two loves together for eternity.

Author's Note

Ok, I need all the help I can get with this one. It's the first draft of the poem my best friend asked me to write for her wedding that is quickly approaching. I'm goign to be reading it at the actual ceremony so I'm quite anxious about it being perfect, or as close to perfect as a poem can get. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE genuine feeback is greatly appreciated! Also, undecided as to whether bible verse lines should lead or follow cooresponding stanzas...

Reviews

[dukovan]

well so far this is beyond exceptional. I'm completely humbled reading this. At this point I think you're the only one to make the tweaks, and adjustments. As a writer I must say that you are much more capable than I am, I think it could get a bit confusing if the verse lines came after, unless you were to repeat them once before then after the stanza's. Seriously wow.

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Pretty cool, I'd like to be there to watch you read it =D xD

[Whiskurz]

I too found this to be exceptional.......Bravo my friend......Whisk

[Kaylor Mason]

I really love this . . . I think the Biblical refernece is perfect for a marriage. Married love is selfless and pure--there's no part of a "taker" in it, for either party. Life slips, but love lasts: very true! That's what makes love and marriage worth it all :)

[Melobldnfr]

I agree with Paul R. Watson below.

[Fréyjä Helv..]

Beautiful poem dear... Just beautiful :)

[Celestial Witch Child]

My genuine feedback is that this poem is amazing as is. I see no need for any changes.

[eglantine]

Thank you :)

[Rusty]

I will re-read but what I would suggest is that you print it and invite all the guest to read aloud with you each biblical stanza then read what you have written.

All read aloud: Love is patient Love is kind.

Listen: We all must pass through the valley of winter
at least a few times during the cycle of breath
on our way to the lake warm with sun.
We must all venture in the unknown expanse, arm
faithfully outstretched like a wave reaching for shore,
a flame for the stars, my best friend for a man I consider
a brother.

Or some similar format. I think it would be intensely powerful for all and ideliably memorable.

[eglantine]

Hmmm, that's a very interesting idea. Reminds me of church lol

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

this is as beautiful a tribute as anyone joining in holy union can expect

my favorite passage from this book is "the foolishness of God is wiser than men; the weakness of God is stronger than men"

do not judge your work by men's standards of perfection, because you are a prophet who is also speaking in tongues, one edifies the individual soul and the other edifies the body of believers

this piece is an exercise in courage and humility. I see no flaws in it

[Emily B]

oh, wow! you built a wonderful poem around my favorite passage

[Paul R. Watson]

I think the bible verses should stay as they are except for the las one, which should be last. It should end with a resounding "Love never fails."