My Cloak

My Cloak

A Poem by ellemorell

So many words but no voice.

The thoughts fill me.

Around and around they go.

I am afraid. Afraid to speak. Afraid of what I feel. Afraid of what you might feel because of what I feel.

I have to speak.

This is the hardest conversation I've ever had
yet I have not had it.

And now it's a thing.

I begin to realise that this is what I do, when things are hard to talk about.
And I've done this until there are no words,
Only thoughts.
And around and around they go,
filling me so there isn't any room left.

So, what am I scared of? It all comes down to fear.

I am scared of being misunderstood, that I can't explain myself properly. I am scared I will say the words and they will be untrue, that I will change my mind and feel a different way.
That I will have to explain this too.

I'm scared of the anger or sadness or judgement these words might inspire. At hiding things I am a master.

I have a cloak.
I wrap it around me, clutching it close, that I have, to keep myself safe.

But my cloak is constricting now, it's grip slowly tightens, pressing upon me, paralysing me. It does not protect me any longer.

It is suffocating me.

I have to speak.

© 2017 ellemorell



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That is deep, and so true. Sad, but the truth for so many of us, and certainly for me. Really great poem, the flow and feel as great. Very well done!

Posted 1 Month Ago



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Added on October 13, 2017
Last Updated on October 13, 2017

Author

ellemorell
ellemorell

Melbourne, Australia



About
This space was blank for a long time, in part because I found comfort in the anonymity, in part because I didn't know what to say. But time has passed, what was a spur of the moment outlet for a perp.. more..

Writing



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