The Pyrite Prince

Fooled, I once thought you a friend

Now foe you’ve come to taunt again

Though time has passed and I am wiser

I know it’s all deceit and lies

 

Still I’m captive to your power

And as the clock strikes past the hour

With liquid stealth you turn to smoke

Black magic wove with every toke

 

You promise to make time stand still

Whilst devils dance upon the hill

But when the stolen moment’s past

It’s like the clock turned twice as fast

 

You create a vision of opulent warmth

Then turn to shadow every form

Everything alive and bright

Is inevitably robbed of all its might

 

Betrayal seethes behind crystalline eyes

Ephemeral euphoria a devious disguise

For each time I imbibe at your toxic mirage

A fracture forms upon my heart

 

The shining light herein grows dim

And stained becomes the pure within

Surely every vacuous mistake

Is closer to the last I’ll make?

 

Two steps back but ever surer

The damage done must be no more

For crimes against my soul repent

This shame I feel must not relent

 

And holding that I forward step

With carving deep across my chest

To draw upon when foe next call

And save myself the painful fall

 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

The title of your poem is out of this world! I love your alliteration & I love the idea that "Pyrite" is "fools gold" . . . sparking an attitude, even before I started to read your verses! *smile* Good job with rhyme & rhythm & flow . . . plus your storytelling has a good pacing, taking your time to spell it all out while packing it with lots of details & imagery! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[danielle.]

Thanks Margie, I love your reviews! I’m glad you got the title... l was a bit concerned people might think I just spelled pirate wrong haha! Xx

[.]

Very well conceived, 'elle!

With a very relatable theme, you have written a piece that flows beautifully; short, sharp and briskly down the page.

Your title is intriguing. Certainly makes this reader think of the foe that haunts this poet's heart. Enemies of the heart take many guises but their intent and purpose is always the same.

This is an excellent piece, 'elle. Very well written.

[danielle.]

Thank you Doodley, this is very generous of you!
I admire your work and I genuinely value your opinion. I guess you never really know how a piece will be received through fresh eyes, so feedback such as this is really something.
I've actually just edited it, for some reason I couldn't get onto the site to post the changes until now.