CL Cobain

A Poem by E.L. Debbage

Poem - inspired by Carol Ann Duffy, regarding Courtney Love and the passing of Kurt Cobain, that I wrote for my AS coursework.

“Mad? Ya think?! If he came back right now I’d have to kill him, for what he did to us.''

- Courtney Love Cobain

Girls, I was deceased inside,

tossed around like a synthetic prize.

Only made special, worthy a spectacle

on the arm of my man, marred by the force that

turned him to ash. Our addiction. Tar stained

needles in the trash. Bound to happen, they said.

He was forlorn and when she was born,

nothing changed, stubborn, he stayed the same.

inevitable apprehension, tension, liked by none.

Who am I? My identity; ceased to be my correspondence.

Tagged hopeless addict, unfit, they said,

to mother his distinguished eyes. So

I might as well have pulled the trigger,

Injected his cell with poison.

Girls, the consequences were

left with her.

And I

Forced to live bloody reality. Nobody knew.

Should have died countless times, was dead inside.

Fate? Don’t believe it. He’s mad! I was always there,

lover or distraction? Fatal failure.

In his desperation to feel something

other than exasperation, he forfeited us.

What did he mean by the words that fell like hail,

onto my aching body. Was his soul a prisoner?

Was I to blame; for prolonging the time

he felt a prisoner in his own mind?

Once, I felt loved but

then I died too. Fell into a pit

of disorder and drowned in his

despair.

But listen. that man was my husband.

He wanted to be legendary.

Never fooled me. All an act and if he

came back I’d simply have to kill him -

for what he did to us.

© 2015 E.L. Debbage

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think!

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Reviews

Coyote Poetry

Many entertainers found death too soon. Bad part is the Amy Winehouse and Kurt were heading to a dead-end and no-one could stop them.
"Forced to live bloody reality. Nobody knew.
Should have died countless times, was dead inside.
Fate? Don’t believe it. He’s mad! I was always there,
lover or distraction? Fatal failure."
I know from my days being wild and crazy. Drugs open up your mind. Once I wrote a 300 page book in two days. When the mind can see and feel all things. The world become scary and dangerous. You did very well with this poem. Made the reader feel the struggle. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago

Barrett

This is incredible. To tap into such an enigmatic figure's mind and imagine what you might find there, and with such depth and grace, truly shows talent!

Posted 8 Years Ago

Devons

This is really good work. I'm not convinced that I'd credit Courtney Love with such depth and intelligence as the words you put into her mind, but the idea of doing so transcends words and thoughts: perhaps translations of feelings? Yes, I believe that is what this poem achieves: it uses words to go beyond words, in a sense.
I very much admire poetry which combines intelligent art with fact, as well as legend. Legend, of course, seems so often too big for human realism, and people so often retain an implacable idea of what a person means to them. They rarely think beyond that idea, and that's most likely because they do not wish that idea to be tainted by an identifiable reality. Perhaps, like a tragedy, they wish the story to remain a story.
For me, the writing here has done more than mere justice to Kurt Cobain's human legacy (personally, I think it's better than anything he ever did), but it also achieves, through creativity and insight, a deeper understanding and acceptance of the human condition - and indeed of a larger-than-life event in history. This is a fine achievement.

PS the Courtney Love quote has been tied-in to the poem seamlessly.