Loveless

Thoughts of you keep me up 

Where did our love go

War raging in two hurting hearts

It just goes to show

That our love was something

 

Our love

It was unbreakable, untouchable

But you shattered it with two words

And no more can I cry

 

Our love

It was unbreakable, untouchable

But now that love

"It's over"

 

That look in your eyes

I know there's no compromise

We're too prideful to apologize

 

And this feeling in my heart

It's tearing me apart

Knowing you're the reason why

 

Our love

It was unbreakable, untouchable

But you shattered it with two words

And no more can I cry

 

Our love

We were witnesses and victims

Of corruptions by these…

Lies

 

And when our story ends

I hope we'll still be friends

And we'll walk again side by side

 

I hope we'll still forgive

All the crimes we committed

And not  look back on loveless ties

 

Our love

We fought for it, lost for it

And all the things we faced

If they were worth it in the end

 

Our love

There's nothing left to say
We headed separate ways

Guess this is how it's meant to end 

Our fairytale's happy ending

You couldn't write it that way

Was I meant to be the victim

On this blood-ridden day

 

Scar me, scathe me

This pain will remain

No matter how far you go

Til my dying day

 

Our love

It was unlivable, unlovable

I can see the light

At that dark tunnel's end

 

Our love

To this day

Forever this way

We won't be friends

 

Author's Note

for a while, i believe that most of my writing will be very fireflight-like :)

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I like this one. My favorite thing about this poem is the refrain that keeps rearing its head. *Our Love* may seem dry to some readers, but in spoken word it snowballs a feeling of intensity. It's violent and it keeps pounding away at the audience. There is almost an expectation of an eruption of sorts. Its nice to have a special person that you can relate to, but this poem seems to be a warning of what can happen if the two people are too much alike. This is a great write, but I am slightly torn. For some reason it feels like there could be a happy ending to this story..but people don't often change. It led me to read this poem a few times to make up my mind..but I couldn't. I found myself investing into this poem and that is the mark for a great writer.

[Violet]

I would like to say, this was a great poem.
I liked all the details, and effort you put into it.
Nice Job. :]

[MoonlitAngel]

Wow. This was really deep and painful. Very descriptive, and I could almost see the scars upon the heart. I would change one line though, "But now that love" and have the reader pause if you just add "..." at the end.:) Just a thought. You don't have to do it.

--Blood

[_////---Elektrik Phanto..]

"Our love it was unlivable, unlovable, i can see the light at that dark tunnel's enD"
sometimes we need the darkness so that we can see the light that leads us away :)

[eileen.]

This is a m a z i n g, i can really relate!

Especially the lines:
"That look in your eyes
I know there's no compromise
We're too prideful to apologize."

..it's great!