Kissing June

Prosey experiment

June stretched her arms above her brown hair. That kind of one arm bent at the elbow, the other arm hoisting it halfheartedly stretch that she did to find inspiration in her own exhausted beauty. Before her across the quaint bistro table sprawled a dozen wild flowers she had hoped to arrange charmingly in a glass vase before the sun set over her modest balcony. Peter emerged from the widening crack of the sliding glass door; his fingers outstretched reaching for June’s creased collar. He swept the hair from her neck with three faint fingers and her neck craned backward in submission. The sun between palm leaves danced across her eyelids now, letting them shine a new shade of green Peter compared to a California lilac. He draped his lips across the jagged hair on her forehead and kissed her plainly. He had longed mostly for this insignificant moment. For a day where he could arrive coolly and plainly kiss her. 

Reviews

[Tracie D'Angelo]

I had to read this a couple times. There are times when no punctuation works and then there are times when you really need to separate a few words so that you don't have readers so concerned about reading the piece and they forget to just flow with it. The imagery is very good as well as the detail. I think it is a good start to something exciting.

[Faraway Sado]

Well... to be honest you have let the suspense hanging in the air. Anyways as much as you have written it is a beautiful piece. The choice of words is beautiful and it makes me want to dwell in deeper into the picturesque scene that you have created. Well done!

[JC]

this is a prosaic beauty and I dig that you are not afraid of what some call run on sentences but what I call stream of intelligent consciousness and if you can't keep up go ahead and fall off the rails... you Miss Fitzgerald Kerouac in that this piece has that roll and stream but not as back alley as beat... meaning I'd straighten my tie before getting drunk with you.

[Caitlin Renee]

You have figured something out here, well done. The prose format works very well with this. It reminds me of the sensuous descriptions of the magical realists. I can see the soft focus and the jewel tones.

[emily joe]

I so appreciate your feedback! Thank you so much (: