Eris in Essence

She swishes her feet through the river,
He watches, entranced, from the bank.
A bulk of a man with an eyepatch
Encloses a rock in his hands.
 
She echoes a tune through the zephyrs,
He cries, looking down at himself,
And falls, wilted-winged, in the river,
As the eyepatch man callously stands.

-EDP

Reviews

[McEltic]

the way I’m reading this it seems the man with the eye patch has a good throw, but I quite often get it wrong too :)

[emipoemi]

You're quite right. If you research the Greek myth that I'm alluding to here, you'll find out just how much of a good throw he has. Thanks for reading.

[Pete]

you gave me a beautiful lesson in greek mythology with your bold descriptions. you taught me as i had to do some background homework to appreciate the fullness of your written tale. nice imagery. good work ... :)

[emipoemi]

thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. The fact you did the extra work is even more wowing...didn't think many people would be up for doing that.

[Alexa Apothic Red]

I really like this. The diction especially struck me.. the crisp sounds of the descriptive words combining with the visual imagery.. and I heard the water too.

I like how you invited me to this as it somewhat 'echoes' my Narcissus and Echo poem. :)

She's just there, simply, beautifully graceful. He is in stark contrast to her. I enjoyed the parallel last lines of each stanza: him holding the rock in his hands and then stonily standing.. it's as if he did something, is guilty of something, troubled by his past and who he is and he can't let that go.. so it shaped who he eternally became. It turned him to stone and he wasted away into the river. Perhaps in the reflection of her beauty and grace, he was finally faced with himself and his troubling realities.

I loved this.. for its ancient ring and also for its pain. You can feel it. Thank you for sharing!!

[emipoemi]

I like your interpretation. Very interesting! I did share this with you due to its Narcissus and Echo allusion.....but for what it's worth I also shared this because of the fact that there are 3 (4 depending on how you look at it) myths referenced in these 8 lines....and I figured you of all people (with your ancient Greek myth knowledge) would be able to get them all. One of them IS Narcissus and Echo......what are the other two?
(Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Feel free to read any of the others on my page. They're all waiting to share with any curious reader what world lies betwixt their words).

[Alexa Apothic Red]

Ooh you are testing my myth education.. I did notice that it wasn't exactly Narcissus and Echo. I'm not going to cheat and google it or something; I'm going to think on it and come back. And agreed! I will definitely take a look at your other works!!

[Alexa Apothic Red]

Is he also Cyclops from The Odyssey?? that is my guess with the eyepatch.. still thinking on the last one.

[emipoemi]

Yep....the Cyclops! You got 1.5 (it's not the Odyssey). The Cyclops' name is Polyphemus. There are two famous myths associated with this Cyclops, and I'm alluding to the other one (not the Odyssey).

[Alexa Apothic Red]

The wilted wings crumbling make me think of Icarus.. but his weren't stone.. they were wax and he flew too close to the sun and they melted.. so Icarus it could not be..

[emipoemi]

It is Icarus (take the stone out of that picture....there are actually 3 characters in this poem)

[Alexa Apothic Red]

He is "entranced" by her near the river so that made me think of the Sirens.. but there's also something about her song in the zephyrs.. that actually made me think of Zeus as god of lightening... but ugh, I'm still brainstorming through my studies from 15-20 years ago!!

[emipoemi]

......and you're uncovering references I had no idea were in there ......omg! But, look up the myth of Polyphemus and Galatea.....there would you find your answer.

[Alexa Apothic Red]

So Galatea the sea nymph sent a love letter to Polyphemus through Cupid (the other winged one).. he is in a stony statue in Pompeii.. I took a Classical Antiquity class and we spent weeks on Pompeii alone...

[emipoemi]

You know more than me..... what I'm doing in this poem is telling a modern version of the myth: She's Galatea, He's Acis, The bulk of a man with an eyepatch represents Polyphemus. Polyphemus kills Acis out of jealousy. The other allusions are put in for fun.

[Alexa Apothic Red]

That is fun! I like how you weaved more than 1 myth together!! It keeps the reader thinking and adds a twist.. it's a higher art version of all those hero back story movies that Marvel keeps doing.. bringing all the various superheroes and villains together in one story.

[emipoemi]

That's the way I play the game ;) Again, thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.