Heavy Hearted Problems

Just start to cry,
Let it all flow out.
I won't ask why,
Piling all your doubt
Onto my heavy heart. 
But I don't care
What you say or do
As long as you're there,
My face won't be turning blue
Ever so soon. 
Though,
I'm accepting the fact
That you love me not,
Hiding away, ignoring my distraught
Filled
Eyes. 
So i lay here alone
Staring up at the sky,
Thinking of you
And your ridiculous lies.
So i just sit here
And think to myself
About pain you've caused me
And all of the welts
That I did.
You may not have heard it,
But ready or not,
I please to bleed or to burn or hit
Myself out of this shock
Of just pure
Aban
         Don
                 Ment. 
You may think you can help now,
But heres a little hint,
It's too late for me, how
Clueless can you get?
Please.
Don't take this the wrong way
I still want you here,
Just without talking
And only you near. 
You can think there's a reason
To why I'm feeling so sad,
Hate to break it to you,
I'm just feeling bad about
Everything 
About me is wrong in a way.
My clothes, my face,
Can't I slip away
From all this?
Even just for a second,
That's all I need.