Negativity

I am haunted by my own spirit
Questioning my value, my purpose
Humming to half-remembered lyric
All the while doubting every decision
Tears of frustration tend to surface
At the the influx of questions
As the mind dwells on problems that never were
The heart beats to the pace of its worries

I am haunted by my own spirit
What is my value, my purpose?
How will it coincide with this life and how I live it?

Loud. In my everyday circus
Children yelling alongside parents
Arguing as CNN's millionth melancholic story
Is sadly interrupted by a cliche sitcom. Funny.
It's louder when I'm alone
A cacophony of thoughts meshed with broken
Melodies trying to cool the constant battle
Or the constant submission

The present stands cornered
With the past scolding its every movement
The future shape-shifts into the most deadliest monsters
Making the present feel small and she goes into hiding
I go into hiding, my mind screaming
How bad it's been, how bad it is, and
How it could only get worse

So I settle for what I have
I trudge through my sorrow
Just enough to make it to tomorrow
I make ties with the good when there could always be better
Do I deserve better?

I am haunted by my own spirit.
But I could just as easily tie my own noose.
To hang its negativity from the branches of a tree
So at last I can be free
And my soul could let loose
Shining.

I might find that it's brighter than the sun
I might find that the dark is an illusion for I am my own light
I might find that I had all the answers
I might find that what must be will find its way on its own
I might find that I'm not all that alone
I might find that
I'm happy

Author's Note

Honest opinions. Thanks an advance for reading and helping to become a better writer.

Reviews

[Jip Martin]

I seldom find poetry of this depth, quality, or smoothness in flowing prose.
Enjoyed this a bunch.
The question...Do I deserve better? ....and the answers(options) are bullseye, dead-on.
Ill need to read more of your submissions, as I have a hunch there's a good deal more like this awaiting.
As a side note....The name Em is a main character in my short story 'They're Playing Our Song'
I,d appreciate your thoughts on it.
Well done.
Jip

[.Em.]

Thank you so much! im so glad you enjoyed it :) i will definitely read your short story. Cant wait :)