Ally

once apon a time there was a little girl named Ally she was lonely had very few friends. She would lay in bed at night and cry. Ally's only friend was a little stuffed hippo named george Ally was so tired of being alone that she thought of diffrent ways to commit sucide. So finnaly she decided only night to get a knife and use that beause she thought it would only feel llike a small cut on each wrist and it would all be over.

* * * *

 

A week  later on her birthday no one said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" so that night she deided to kill her self there under her pillow was the knife she pulled it out and put on her favorite cd.Ally put the knife to her wrist and slid it aross she watched the blood start to drip off her wrist.Her parents found her next morning laying in a puddle of her own blood then they found the suicide note it read

 

 

Dear mom and dad,

 

It's  not your fault whhat happened i'm just tired of living a sad misreble life.So don't blame yourselves.

 

love forever and always

Ally

and was the end of Ally's sad misreble story and that all could have been prevented if some one was Ally's friend

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Bare trees]

Made some errors myself. Ha "upon" (first sentence)
"like" (at the end of the last sentence in the first paragraph.)
"decided" (second sentence, second paragraph.)

[Bare trees]

This is such a sad story to read. Sometimes being lonely can make us think horrible things like killing ourselves or others. It's the wrong way to think because sooner or later we always gain friends even if we're not trying. It sounds like ally needed someone to talk to most of all. Good Job.

Here is how you can fix the errors.

Once apon a time there was a little girl named Ally. She was lonely and had very few friends. She would lay in bed at night and cry. Ally's only friend was a little stuffed hippo named george. Ally was so tired of being alone that she thought of diffrent ways to commit sucide. So finally she decided one night to get a knife and use that because she thought it would only feel llike a small cut on each wrist and it would all be over.

* * * *



A week later on her birthday, no one said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" so that night she deided to kill herself. There under her pillow was the knife. She pulled it out and put on her favorite cd. Ally put the knife to her wrist and slid it across. She watched the blood start to drip off her wrist. Her parents found her the next morning laying in a puddle of her own blood. Then, they found the suicide note. It read:

Dear mom and dad,



What happened is not your fault. I'm just tired of living a sad misreble life. So don't blame yourselves.



Love forever and always,

Ally

And that was the end of Ally's sad misreble story. And it all could have been prevented if someone was Ally's friend.



THE END

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. Life is a odd ride. Friends are necessary. But a peace with your life and mind can off set loneliness. Children need to feel loved and needed. Need a strong parent to fore-see problems. A very good poem.
Coyote

[Silvario]

a very sad tale indeed. i can feel the emotion here much you would in a poem.

and yes, some technical errors but easily fixed. :)

keep writing =)

[Alexa Tasch]

poor ally. nice story a few punctuation errors but still very nice.....and sad