DROWNING

My thoughts have the ability to steal me...

I watch the gleam in its eyes lock inside mine

 

Everything I feel is everything it hides

 

Fading

 

Drowning

 

Dropped into a pool of murky water

 

To deep

 

Struggles to stay afloat

 

Was it pushed?

 

Did it jump?

 

Splashes hit my skin with a burn

 

The water boils

 

I tread a circular motion on the outside

 

Feeling the scorching temperature rise

 

My emotions can’t seem to rationalize

 

Is this a do or die?

 

Arms reach to save

 

Then retract

 

I can’t handle the sound of sting

 

Cover my ears in shivers of dreams

 

Hushing the suffrage of its chokings

 

My eyes focus in on the battle

 

Leaking passion to crash into the water like cannons

 

The destruction takes it under

 

NO!!

 

My screams come with flashes of lightning

 

Voicing

 

Trying to tear through the in between

 

I drop to my knees

 

BREATHE!!!

 

My crying echo carries against the nightmare scene

 

One thousand by one thousand times

 

I hear my soul sing with a dying whine

 

My heart begins to pulse rapidly out of rhyme

 

From the sky thorns begin to bleed

 

Seeping into my skin like dragons teeth

 

Slicing uncontrolled throughout my being

 

And the wind blows of something deeper than a storm

 

Torn

 

My minds impression worn

 

STAY WITH ME!!!

 

My tortured plea causes the ground to shake

 

Begging for its love to stay awake

 

I extend my trembling hand for it to take

 

DON’T LEAVE……..

 

I whisper as the war becomes exhausting

 

Silent ripples conclude the splashes fighting

 

Its sweet hand doesn’t reach

 

Sinking

 

Fading

 

Losing

 

The face of your name-

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

Drowning in a sea of mournful emotions. Feeling as if you can't get your head above destructive waters. This is detailed and allows the reader to visualize what is being said.

[TheSweet]

Quite a sad poem, and drowning is deffinitely a fear of mine, which made it a little uncomfortable - which means the poem did it's job. What I did find really odd was a rhyme using the word 'rhyme', it somehow broke the flow for me. But it's probably just me :P

[Zoe_N.]

after ive read it i felt sad.. i guess i was really affected.. it's a good thing . Your poem was really reaching, and communicating to your readers...

[Siddhartha]

Extremely distressing and poignant. I won't even try guessing the disturbed state of mind in which this was written. Things have a way of turning better over time but us poets are so sensitive souls. Thanks for sharing Cassie...

[zero binty]

Oh my, Little e. You make me want to tear through the lines just to get back at whatever is putting you under such duress. Say the word, and I will be there.

[TawnyBlueStar]

oh wow :D I have no words XD I think its amazing! :D
going to my library :)

[Chris]

I even added my own one more line... so well done, takes a lot to have me do that.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. I like your thoughts and places you took me. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Sagar Waingankar]

I read every line over and over again to understand the circumstances under which it's written! Words go shorter to review this one!

[Manpreet]

One thousand by one thousand times
I hear my soul sing with a dying whine
My heart begins to pulse rapidly out of rhyme

It is only you who could craft such a beautiful thought in word. An amazing piece here!