A soul in my eyes

poem

A soul in my eyes

I hate it when you eat my flesh alive,
and overlook the soul in my eyes.
It is the worst feeling; I barely survive,
while you cover it up with lies.

I fall a thousand times yet I stand strong,
In the face of your pretentious force.
Although I forgive, forget and play along,
I still wish you would show me remorse.

That charm of your beautiful face,
and those fangs that lie within.
Stabbed me in the back with no trace,
Sucked my blood and I almost gave in.

My wounds are open, but I feel them no more,
and a trembling sensation runs through my bones.
Words are on the way out, although my throat is sore,
and on my way to retrieve what my soul essentially owns.

Author's Note

so tell me what you think?

Reviews

[Corey Bowen]

wow very nice...when i read it im picturing a scene of a vampire stucking almost every bit of blood out of u....but what u really are saying is that you have fallin for someones lies and looks and that u almost fell for them and all u want is honest and the truth...very strong like it

[*Evelen*]

This is a very meaningful write here. I see someone who is wishing to be loved for who she is and not what she is (if that makes any sense). I felt fear when I started to read the third paragraph. You did a very well job =)

[C.L. Wilson]

so very emotional and the imagery gives me goosebumps. the abab stanzas might be simple, but simplicity is beautiful. such a great read.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

I felt the force of another being trying to attach itself to such your soul dry.. or you have the feeling of this. Your last stanza shows you fought those lies off and the battle did have impact on your energy.. the other may be physically beautiful but the fangs are something we all can do without! Great writing!

[Su' Nacnetaf]

Beautiful, as I get it, it seems to me that you're demanding someone to really pay attention to what's important in you, your mind (or soul as you wrote it). Wonderfully written, great writing.

[PhantomDancer]

When love is so painful, we can wish we had never met that person, yet we almost wouldn't give it up if we could choose. Neat poem!

[Sasha]

An ecstatic poem! Very Powerful!!
One of the best i've read on writerscafe so far.
Superb.

[Alice]

Great imagery and very powerful emotions.
I really like how the writing is beautiful and dark at the same time.
To me it spoke of a person being judged for appearances, not who they really are. I also thought that it could be read as other people judging, or the person themselves (if that made any sense. It does to me, so sorry if it comes off as a bit of garbled nonsense to you :S).

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I was intrigued by this... it is quite bone chilling and dark, but underneath the vampire theme lies a hidden meaning that I find... I see a person who feels only being judged by their looks and not being taken seriously by anyone she loves.

[Perfect Imperfection]

It's beautiful, and it shows that you cannot give into anything. At all. It has so much emotion, and I envy you for being able to show that kind of emotion in your writing. I'm happy I read it, and I love it!