I think this is written fairly well although I think the second stanza (in particular) could be brushed upon a little bit. I did not get the feel that the rhymes were forced as I felt the flow was pretty well but could just be polished up a bit. Disregarding the structure, the story from within this piece told is a very emotional one that I thank you for sharing. Definitely a fine piece of writing that could use just a few tweaks, I did like it and look forward to reading more of your writing. --Broken Soul
Im kinda agreeing with Mr. Scaggs on this one. The rhyming felt a little forced, and I do think you could have done better. Even taking this into account, I think this was a good poem. Thanks for sending it my way.
Don't know what I really thought of this but I believe you can do better: well, it's in all nature of poets to aspire to do better. Some of the rhymes feel forced almost or roughly fit, use rhyming dictionaries if you need them. Lol, don't force yourself to rhyme. Rhymezone.com and rhymer.com are both two excellent online rhyming dictionaries. Theme is good, liked the overall message but found that it lacked... maybe it's repetition. Time doesn't always heal broken hearts, it sometimes scars them like scar tissue. :P Flow is good, rhyme felt a little forced, rhythm is good except for the fourth stanza felt a little off. Remove redundant words like in the third stanza, "never ever" isn't really needed. Replace things like "&." Now those latter two parts are my opinions because every writer has a different style. But be yourself and excel at who you are. Thank you for adding me as a friend and may you be well blessed. 8.3/10.
It is a beautiful poem. I loved it honestly. You really did a wonderful job and I agree with most of what you said. Time can heal if given a chance to do so. Sadly not everyone does give time a chance to heal.
I dance under the rain
Like a kid once again
Raindrops stop so suddenly
So time heals occasionally
:::::indeed it does..everything happens once in awhile , just never know..maybe that is a good thing..we wait for the surprize.
You can call me ean, I'm 24 years old girl.
A little mind taking in the world and putting it down into words; every thought, every wonder---are all just fascinating in their own way.
My fa.. more..