Dare to dream

Dare to dream

A Story by black.butterfly

Dare to dream

     I woke up that morning. The alarm was still echoing in my head. My throat sore and shoulders heavy. as I opened my eyes I have completely forgotten what nightmares I saw through the night. However, I was awake and so recalled all the unhappiness I slept away yesterday. I wished I never woke up. that pain was just too real and I could not face it. It was not that monster I feared would be hiding under my bed when I was little and it was not one of those nightmares that haunted me---it was reality. It was me in a neutral suit in a matching office everyday. It was me facing obligations at every corner. It was me not affording to think anymore. It was me disbelieving---Not believing in what exactly? I have no idea. Maybe in destiny, hope, freedom and dreams. The relief that something better is guiding this chaos, that there is something better out there. for all I knew this was me---whole but broken living the same meaningless trivial life my parents lived.

     I was told that I had to stop chasing after dreams, get real and grow up. It was okay to be rejected. It was normal to be disappointed. It was fine to be sad. I was not okay. I was a living despair. I stopped thinking, dreaming and more importantly---I stopped writing. There was no music.

     As I got up, dressed up and I had my breakfast, I only took in what would keep me functioning. I got into the car and looked through the glass, sipping my bitter coffee silently---The sun glare white and hot blocking my vision, the buzz of the air conditioner giving me a headache. The scenery would not change. All I could see was a never ending modern metropolis of skyscrapers. People waving their hands and sharing their fake smiles. This was all there was to my day. I curled up holding my self so that I would not fall apart. I was too aware that this was not a world for being human. However, my tears slipped away. My eyes became blood-red. My heart beat so fast fluttering like a bird wanting to fly away. It hurt so much. There was no escape from the way I felt. Then, sobbing I recited "To God we we shall return". I somehow felt easier and lighter like there was someone sharing that weight.

     Then I saw his face---someone dear from the distant past. All grown up and different. Strangely, I felt apathetic. I had no desire to say anything. I just wanted to observe from a distance. I thought it was strange how I could react differently to my feelings overtime. Then I learned he became what I wanted to be. I felt left out. I felt alone like something was stolen from me and I gave it away willingly.

      Then it just made me wonder---Why would I see "him" in this place at this time like this? why does it seem so ironic that I see him and feel this way? the logical answer would be, because he has some business in town and we happen to be at the same place. The illogical answer would be, because he is a reminder; it was to awake me, to give me hope, that changing my future is not impossible. That I do not have to feel this way forever.

     Why else are we born? why do we hurt? Would it not be more practical if we were emotionless beings serving our purpose? maybe asking myself these questions is the downside of real despair laughing at my own hopelessness and weakness. we are not born as a part of chaos. We are connected. Our past is a guide for the future. We are set out to try and overcome. So small but with a vision much bigger. We choose our own destiny. We distinguish our own faces. The world is nothing but an extension and reflection of ourselves and our strength. Right or wrong, this is what I choose to believe as a proof of that. So, I can only say dare to dream.




© 2012 black.butterfly



Author's Note

black.butterfly
Hope you enjoy it.

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Reviews

I like the comparison in the beginning of a child’s nightmares vs. the narrator’s adult trials, and their fear of being like their parents. This is a very real and relatable thought that sort of makes you wish you were still scared of trivial things like the Boogeyman instead. Many people say things like ‘it’s normal to be sad’ but disregard the nature of feelings when people are living in depression, such as with the visual of the sun and the city, which they perceive as a headache rather than beautiful in a perpetual grip of sadness and despair.

There was a good start here. You did a good job of dropping right into it, roping in the reader with a sense of immense trouble that kept me reading to figure out what happened and hoping it would be resolved. I also related to the trail of seeing this person they knew; I too often wonder if people are meant to be sign or warnings in my life. It can be a good feeling, but also exhausting to try to decipher why you meet a person or why you see them when you do.

The end left me wanting a bit though. I understand that this story is more like a thought provoking reflection and is fine as such but maybe tighten it up a little? I feel like it needs a little more conclusion or resolution as there’s too much shifting and too little development.

Content Suggestions:

“My throat sore and shoulders heavy. as I opened my eyes” There’s an inappropriate period between ‘heavy’ and ‘as’.

“People waving their hands and sharing their fake smiles.” This is a fragment sentence. Maybe add ‘were’ before ‘waving’.

“To God we we shall return" double ‘we’

“Then it just made me wonder---Why would I see "him" in this place at this time like this? why does it seem so ironic that I see him and feel this way? the logical answer would be, because he has some business in town and we” Capitalize ‘why’ and ‘the’

Posted 3 Years Ago


yeah....really enjoyed.....it's better than ur first one......i'm not saying that that one bad that was good on it's own place & this one is quite much good on it's place...

Posted 4 Years Ago


This was very thoughtful! Thank you for sharing it here =)

Posted 5 Years Ago


This made me really consider being at peace with a lot of things. Thanks for the story.

Posted 5 Years Ago


The piece is so good and I love how it makes me feel:)

Posted 5 Years Ago


We must hold on to hope and dreams. If we follow the people with no vision and hope. We will end up in a bad place. I lie the story and the strong ending. Dreams keep us young in spirit and hope keep us yearning to fight another day. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago


I think you do a very good job at explainging human thoughts and feelings.
Which is a marvelous feat in my book because nobody can really articulate what it feels like to be a human.
I also think you do this without sounding all sad and sappy and all that bullshit that makes for depressing writing.
that is also a rare talent.
In all of god's honest truth I feel like I'm at that stage where you just give up caring, even about writing.
But this definately makes me want to write more and puts a pang of jealousy in my stomach.

Posted 5 Years Ago


I absolutely loved this. Again you just have this way with words that takes my breath away. Beautifully done. I find myself wanting to read it again. ^_^

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on April 21, 2012
Last Updated on April 21, 2012

Author

black.butterfly
black.butterfly

somewhere in this world



About
Hey, You can call me ean, I'm 24 years old girl. A little mind taking in the world and putting it down into words; every thought, every wonder---are all just fascinating in their own way. My fa.. more..

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