TIMELESS LOVE

Old and gray i lay in the hospital bed, 

as i look up at my husband... the tears hes now shed.

I manage to smile though my pain,

as he moves hes hand on mine once again.

Tears fall from my own eyes as i relise i cant feel hes touch,

half my body is paralyzed so i cant feel very much.

I tell him i love him once more as my world fades away,

i here him whisper i here him beg... no! please stay.

I reopen my eyes and i see my husbands grieffilled face,

doctors crowd around a hospital bed, and i here my husband say god keep her safe.

I creep closer to the bed untill im close enough to see,

that person laying in that hospital bed is me.

Im so confused this must be a dream im sure,

then reality hits me hard and raw.

no one can here me now for i think im dead,

i look at my husband and smile at the life iv lead.

suddenly i see the light, 

and im drawn towards it this feels right.

As i walk into it im lifted into a heavenly sky and oh what a sight,

to my sides i see them there 2 angles lifting me up into the night.

I whisper ill wait for you to my husband as if he is near

and through the wind i here hes whisper im already here.

All of a sudden im by hes side once more and i smile at him so,

he whispers in my ear as he holds me close wherever you are i go.

 

Author's Note

I wouldnt usually think to write anything like this the idea was inspired by my friend white prince one of hes poems
Love's Perfect Ending
Awesome poem you guys should give it a read.

Reviews

[.]

Now here is a poem that has broadened your poetic horizon!

The mark of a good writer is how well they can maintain their talent across a broad spectrum of themes and storylines. In this poem you have drifted from your previous poems of love to tackling death and its endless probabilities. And you do it very well. My respects to you for trying something completely different and stepping out of your comfort zone.
One thing to remember is to always re-read your work and edit it as best you can before publishing. There are a few spelling errors that need correcting here and that detract from the quality of the piece if left unfixed. A great writer will spend more time editing a work than actually writing it. So keep that in mind.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you for the wonderful review once again and the advice. :)

[Joyrider]

Very well written. A touching story narrated through an emotional poem. Keep up the good work.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thanks so much for your review :)

[Master K-tops]

Wow! The imagination and tone is fantastic! Too much errors for a contest however. But aall the same,thumbs up.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

thanks glad you liked it. the errors whernt that bad in my opinion. It should be the work the wins the contest not the grammer

[Master K-tops]

Yeah,I get it. You are good,I must give you credit for it. Please read my own writings and review them,thanks.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

i was going to later tonight promise ill get around to it if not tonight then tommrow

[mark]

great piece of writing babes. very sad story line and full of emotion. keep writing ur very good at it :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

thank u hunny i try :P im glad you liked it :)

[Luis]

I like the fact that it's narrative poem. I also like the imagery in it.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank u so much means allot

[17thWhitePrince]

Awe!!! I loved this piece so much indeed =D
Such a beautiful theme !!!
Just so amazing !!!
Simply beautiful !!!

Thanks for the support =D

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

awwwww thanks white prince (ok i cant keep calling u white prince lol a name would be nice:)
Im really glad u liked it i got the idea from u haha.
Your welcome anytime :)

[LaVonneTheLovely]

I just wanted to let you know, this is a really cool concept!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you :)

[LaVonneTheLovely]

Again, you are welcome :)