DEMONIZER!!!!

It all started the night I woke up to a bang,
I almost jumped out of bed with fright.
I looked over to my closet, open it had swang,
and I couldn't believe the sight....

Standing in my closet where red eyes glowing bright,
But the cloak that covered him was dark as night.
The way he looked at me, I couldnt help but grimace,
looking at the door wanting to run, but I knew I didn't stand a chance.

After that night I started seeing him everywhere, all the time,
from in my dreams, to around street corners, he was haunting me night and day.
Id wake up in a sweat everynight, when around two the clock would chime
Then I started hering voices, and you wouldn't believe some of the things they would say.

My friend once saw him to when we where out in the dark,
and the next day she had a talk with me at our local park.
She told me to call a excersist, because this was terrifing and real,
she told me whenever she was around me, that evil presence she could feel.

That night my friend slept over, so I wouldn't be alone,
as she reached deep in her bag and the cross I was shown.
She told me if i wore this, it would protect me from harm,
I smiled at her and told her, im no longer scared, don't be alarmed.

She looked at me strangly, as she took a step closer with her cross in hand,
I took a few steps back, and shouted at her to not come any closer with high demand.
I saw a panicked look on her face and she looked at me and gasped,
After that it was all over, her life was gone, she had passed.

I looked in the mirror, as i smiled to see,
The red eyes that stared right back at me.
That scared little girls body is all that remains,
But an evil demonic spirt is all it contains.

Reviews

[mark]

freaky!!! lol this was a great demonic poem babes :) i just dont understand the ending was she the devil in the end? i got confused abit. other than that, it was another one of ur great poems. u come up with awesome ideas idk how u do it. u should really do something with ur writing talent. once people read these they will love everyone of them. keep it up. ur doing great!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

In the end it was no longer her hun, the demon possessed her.
Im glad you liked it thank you for all your reviews. I really love them and I love how you really encourage me with my writing means allot. Love you xxx :)

[mark]

oh ok. ur welcome :)

[mark]

i love you too :)

[D]

Hehehehe like a horror movie :)
I loved it!
crucifixes. blah. the demon wins. lol.

I'm so evil. lol

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

haha yer well it did tell a story, like most of my other poems do. And well movies tell storys to, so I guess you could say that.
Thanks for the review, glad you liked it :)

[D]

you're welcome :)

[Dead]

This is really really good and creepy. You're an awesome writer!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Well thank you, Your allot better then me, your so young your poems are so advanced for your age :)

[Dead]

Lol thanks but you're over exaggerating by a little bit :) You're amazing.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I'm really not :P
Well thanks that means allot :)

[Dead]

Welcome :D

[Daniel Valentine Rivera]

Not really my taste, but this poem is impressive. This story sounds like it be made into a horror movie. Amazing poem Cimmy. As always I enjoyed every line and rhyme.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you daniel :)

[cycy]

omg cimmy wow, i'm quite speechless...definitely one of my fav's of all your poems, you had me hooked from the title right up to the last line. loved it...well written, great rhymes..i know how hard it can be to tell a story and maintain a rhyme simultaneously but you did it so well,brilliant piece hun.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I think it was one of my worst poems actually haha.
Im really glad you liked it so much :)
Thank you :)

[Amber Lily]

I enjoyed every bit of darkness that comes from this poem! It tells of a tragic tale in poetic form which is something really hard to do for others, but you did this very well. The twist at the end was perfect which lead the reader from fear to surprise. Most impressive :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank u amber :)

[Sage]

Wow. That was really really dark and it needs a few minor tweaks and I guess if you keep writing like this, you'll overtake Edgar Allen Poe soon!
It first looked like those "I'm facing my inner demons" type poem but it turned out to be much much better! :)
Keep them coming!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I honestly dunno who that is lol, but awesome haha thanks. :)

[Satan]

This is badass and makes me happy. Good to see you experimenting a bit as you tap into that darker side. Is cimmy getting grimmy? :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Well thank you Satan :P
I like to tap into some horror poetry every now and then, as I love horror movies, so why not horror poetry? :P
Glad you enjoyed it :)

[Satan]

Whatever floats your boat sister ;) keep 'em coming!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Haha will do if i can think of anythin new to write about

[Satan]

You will certainly think of something, I am sure. Perhaps write what you've always felt like you needed to say but haven't yet for whatever reason. I'm sure you have so many thoughts you keep to yourself that are worthy and insightful enough to share with others. Read request me your future pieces please. Peace.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I wish there was im kinda a really open person with no secrets really lol.
Ill think of something eventually :)
W

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

will do :P

[dan]

cimmy, This piece was very well conceived and told, though a few points were a bit unclear (if you go back and read it again to yourself you will see; for instance in the beginning you refer to the spirit as "him" only to refer to it as "her" later in the write). This was a very ambitious write, a lot of darkness and a lot of things going on. When writing a piece this complex it is easy to misplace some elements. It needs just a LITTLE BIT of editing to become complete, an outstanding piece of writing. Nice work!! take care...dan

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Thank you Dan :) this review means allot glad you liked it. I will fix that up :)