KARMA

Destinee seems to have it all; looks, brains, athleticism. She also has a huge ego. That ego would cause Destinee's life to go in directions that she never would have imagined...

Basketball; A sport I grew up playing.  Every time a game was on, I had to watch it. Every time a league was formed, I had to join. Basketball wasn’t just a sport that Destinee Fontaine played.  Basketball was who Destinee Fontaine was. I couldn’t get enough. Basketball was my life.

 

        Now, I hate it. I haven’t seen a game in years. Now, all of the basketball channels are blocked on my tv.  When my friends invite me to go to games with them, I politely decline.  I don’t think my friends even know that I haven’t been to a basketball game in person in years.  I’ve never told anyone why….until now.

 

        My senior year in high school; I was playing sports, picking colleges, & planning for my future. I was a three-sport letter winner, and Student Body President. I was a member of the debate team, plus I also managed to keep an “A” average.  I was always getting my name and picture in the local paper.  I didn’t really need all of the attention, but I understood, that when you are the face of a town, where no one would care about that town if you weren’t there, it sort of comes with the territory.  So I didn’t complain. I just kept on being Destinee Fontaine. 

 

        I’ll never forget the first day of class, my senior year, because that’s when I saw him.  He looked like a student.  I mean, at first I thought he was a student, until I over heard another student call him sir.  But he looked so young. Young as me even.  Well, his name was Mr. Butler and he was a new teacher that year fresh out of college. I really was hoping that I was taking his class.  One look at my schedule and the honeymoon was over before it began.  No Mr. Butler teaching any of my classes that semester.  Damn! Well, there’s still one semester left, as I was trying to convince myself that I might at least get the chance to talk to the man before I graduated.  See, that was me, ever the optimist, always seeing the positive side of things and the good in people.  As I continued to live my life, I would come to realize that that would be my blessing…and my curse.

 

        As Student Body President, I had the privilege and honor of speaking at all our assemblies and introducing all of our guest speakers.  There was nothing like the rush you get from standing in front of all of your classmates--with all eyes on you�"as you try to be serious, funny, and insightful all at the same time.  I’ve always been calm, cool, and collected in any situation; but being in front of my fellow classmates always gave me a rush.  Now, for this particular assembly, we had a famous motivational speaker come to our school to get us motivated for the new school year. Now, I had heard of him before, but I had never seen him prior to the assembly.  He was a 78-year-old man who stood about 4’11 inches tall.  I thought to myself, who can this guy motivate?  Well, as soon as he grabbed the microphone he became a ball of energy.  I said holy moly, where did this guy come from?  I think I just got played.

 

        The speaker had everyone up on their feet, involved in his presentation, including fine a*s Mr. Butler.  Yeah, I see you Mr. Butler, over there waving your hands.  Now, I have forgotten a lot of things over the years, but I still remember that speaker’s message.  He spoke to us that day about living the life that we want to live.  Not the life that our parents want us to live, or the life that our friends want us to live.  It was as if no one else was in the room but me.  He was talking directly to me.  “Destinee, your life begins now.  What will you do with it?” Those words still haunt me; because I continue trying to answer that question. 

 

        Something I always hated in high school were bullies.  You know the people who had self esteem issues, so they picked on kids with even worse self esteem issues.  That really got my mad on. So, as Student Body President, I was determined to do something about the problem with bullies that was taking over our school.

 

        Now, the plan was to set a more strict set of punishments for those students caught bullying other students around.  I didn’t like bullies and I wanted them to know it.  Funny thing is, that in my attempts to rid our school of its problems with bullies…I became one 

 

        Her name was Rosie Flowers. I will never forget her because she taught me the true meaning of Karma.  Now, I had known of her around school, but I never paid attention to her, or actually kicked it with her.  With a name like Rosie Flowers, she was exactly what you would expect: A nice, respectful, quiet, unassuming person.  Well, senior year brings out the best and worst in people.  It’s a pressure filled year, and either you can handle it or you can’t.  Rosie Flowers couldn’t.  The first time I can actually remember paying attention to Rosie, she had a tattoo on both arms and a poor, obviously struggling to breathe, smaller girl in a headlock.  I noticed the tattoos because Rosie was wearing a tank top.  Back then, we were allowed to wear tank tops, but only the “Bad” girls actually wore them.  The no tank top policy was actually written up as the ‘Rosie Rule’. 

 

        Rosie had always been a bigger girl than most of us, but she stayed in the background, not wanting to disrupt things.  But senior year, Rosie came back more like Rambo.  She had tattoos all over; she wore baggy jeans, Timberland boots, and a different colored tank top everyday; plus, her hair was cut low, with a bald fade that would have made any of the guys proud.  Rosie also had a posse now; four girls who looked, dressed, and acted just like her.  I thought to myself, ‘Rosie must have had one hell of a summer’. 

 

        Throughout the first semester of our senior year, Rosie continued terrorizing the smaller, weaker girls in our school.  If a student got in trouble, detention was the main punishment.  Our school district had stopped paddling students about 2 years before.  Rosie Flowers was getting detention so much that she counted it as one of her classes; like Algebra, English, P.E, and Detention.  Not only was Rosie always in detention, but she was also starting to gain in popularity; enough so, that secretly, I felt threatened. 

 

        I wrote up a proposal and presented it to the School Board.  My proposal called for more strict punishments for troublemakers, i.e. bullies.  I hated bullies with a passion.  But there was one thing that I hated more; one of those bullies getting more popular than me.  Rosie Flowers had to go down!

 

        I convinced the school board to have expulsion as a punishment for bullies who were repeat offenders; and Rosie Flowers was an offender squared, which meant that if she so much as breathed on another student that year, she would get suspended and wouldn’t graduate.  Rosie’s grades were okay, because she had been such a good student her first three years in high school.  However, she wouldn’t be able to make up the missed time that an expulsion would bring quick enough to graduate and I knew it. 

 

        I made sure that each student in the school received a copy of the new policy changes.  From the look on Rosie’s face, she knew that she would be skating on thin ice for the rest of the school year.  I made sure that Rosie knew that I was the one who pushed for the new changes, and that we as a student body would not stand for bullies any longer.  I was always taught to stand up to bullies.  The more you fight back, the less you’ll get picked on.  The stare I got from Rosie�"as I told her that the new changes were my idea�"could have burned through concrete.

 

        Rosie and I had never been close.  That look in her eyes let me know that I had an enemy for life.  Being the bully that she was, with her reputation, it was ironic that two weeks later Rosie would be caught and suspended, not for bullying another helpless kid, but for beating up another bully�"who had been a member of her posse�"for stealing out of this other kids locker.  Rosie was trying to do right, and she paid for it.  Suspended for the rest of the semester; Rosie would have to go to summer school to graduate.  I was sick to my stomach.  I didn’t eat for a week.  Never in my life had I been more ashamed of myself than when I saw the campus police escorting Rosie Flowers off the property.  At that point, it occurred to me; the school was trading in one bully for another.     

 

        All through high school I had been a popular person with everybody. Everyone wanted Destinee Fontaine to be their friend.  I was good at sports, smart as a whip, and nice to everyone.  I really didn’t realize what was missing until senior year…boys.  I had never had a boyfriend.  I had boys as friends, but, that was it. I was never approached to be anyone’s girlfriend, nor did I look at boys as anything more than friends.  I guess it was because of the sheltered life I led, and my parents being so heavily involved in it.

 

        Senior year something changed in me.  I don’t know if it was the thought of Prom being that year, or just me coming out of my shell, but everywhere I looked, the guys looked different to me.  There were fine ones; and cute but skinny ones. Some were ugly, but fine a*s hell; and then there were big, muscular, juicy guys. I had never noticed guys in this way before.  I liked it…

 

        His name was Tyrus Thomas.  He and I had the same lunch.  I didn’t know much about him.  Tyrus was one of those people that were dreamers.  He loved the flowers, the animals, people, and everything that GOD made.  But I never saw him at school anywhere but at lunch.  I finally found out why; because “GOD didn’t make no schools”.  He hated school.  He missed more classes than he attended, and yet he carried a ‘C’ average.    Well, Tyrus was Cute-To-Me.  I sat at his table at lunch specifically because I didn’t know him. I was in a hurry and I wanted to eat in peace, then leave.  He had one dimple on his left cheek that kept getting my attention.  I had an affinity for dimples that one day I would come to regret.  On this day, that one dimple caused me to miss my meeting…and make a great friend.  We talked all through lunch, and I found out that most times he misses class, he goes to the lake to write music; just lyrics though, because he has not mastered an instrument yet.  He sung a couple of songs, and his voice is good enough to sing to me, but not to the world.  As he liked to say, ‘it’s a work in progress’….and as I would tell him, ‘so am I’.

 

            So Tyrus and I would hang out together everyday at lunch.  We loved mind games and seeing who could out think the other.  I would make my best pitch as to why he should attend his classes more; and he would so eloquently let me know why he shouldn’t.  His arguments were always better than mine.  He would tell me, “For someone who is the Student Body President, you sure can’t debate”. I would then bring my first place debate medals to school to prove him wrong…”This state sure thinks I can”, I would say.  I think that he had been skipping class so long, that he began to believe it was right.  Well, I had reached my greatest challenge yet: to get Tyrus Thomas attending his classes on a regular basis.  I’m Destinee Fontaine…Student Body President…a triple sport letter winner…plus, someone who could talk a gay man straight…surely I can get this guy away from a lake. 

 

        The more Tyrus and I met for lunch, the cuter I thought he was.  The more Tyrus and I traded verbal jabs, the smarter I thought he was.  Too smart in fact to be missing classes and not getting the full scope of what high school had to offer.  I talked to him about which classes he liked, and which ones he didn’t like.  I wanted to get inside his head. I was trying to manipulate him.  I wanted to get him vulnerable so that I could control the situation.  Little did I know that Tyrus was trying to do the same thing to me, only he wanted something else…something much more special?

 

        Tyrus would say things to me like “How do you feel about the stars”, and “Do you enjoy walks along the lake”? Tyrus always referred to the lake where he goes to hang out as “Lake Paraiso de Destino”. I was fluent in French, but, I couldn’t tell you how to say ABC in Spanish, so I never really gave it any thought. He asked me had I ever heard of it, and I told him that I hadn’t. I didn’t know it then, but he was setting me up.  It was also much easier for me to get him to start going back to class than I originally thought it would be; which should have been another red flag.  He figured that if he did something for me, I would do something for him.  I was clueless, until one day at lunch Tyrus took me to his locker, where he had brought a pair of shorts for himself and a bathing suit for me.  Tyrus wanted me to skip class and go with him to the lake...

 

        I have to admit that on occasion, I secretly thought about going to the lake with Tyrus, but only because he was so sweet and cute.  Now, what he wanted, I didn’t know if I could give him.  You see, I was a virgin, and Tyrus wanted to be my first.  We had talked openly about our sex lives; of course I didn’t have one. Tyrus however, had been with two girls before.  In the twelfth grade, that made him very experienced.  I didn’t know if I wanted to have sex with him, but I knew that I at least wanted to go to the lake with him…so I agreed.  Tyrus was the first in a long line of men that would go on to manipulate me.  But, he was the only one that I never resented for doing so…

 

        I was so nervous about skipping class.  I couldn’t just go to my morning classes, then miss a class, and then be seen at school again later in the day.  I figured that would surely get me caught; so, I just called in sick and missed the whole day.  Tyrus and I had made plans to meet at the lake in the morning.  We would spend the entire day there.  Well, when I got there, Tyrus was already there sitting under a tree with his pen in hand concocting another song.  I was wearing the bathing suit that he bought for me.  He looked at me and I swear I saw a tear come out of his eye.  He told me how gorgeous I looked.  That sent chills down my spine.  No guy had ever told me that I was gorgeous before.   After that day, I would always tell him that he cried for me; and he would always say that it was the wind blowing in his face that caused that tear to fall.  But he always said it with a wink.  That morning, I sat next to him and we commenced to talking.  He read me poetry.  He sung songs to me; some complete, and some incomplete.  It was sooo peaceful on that lake.  I think I began to understand Tyrus’ attraction to it.  The reasons he skipped school didn’t have as much to do with him not liking his classes as they had to do with his love for that lake.  I was out there a few hours and I fell in love with it too. 

 

        Lunchtime passed with Tyrus feeding me fish and fruit.  I thought to myself; this is better than anything the school cafeteria could have.   After lunch, Tyrus and I decided to take a canoe to the middle of the lake.  That’s where Destinee Fontaine first became a woman; out in the middle of “Lake Paraiso de Destino”.  I found out later that the translation of the name of that lake was “Destiny’s Paradise”…go figure.  It sure seemed meant to be to me…

 

        As we paddled the boat to the deepest parts of the lake, Tyrus leaned over and kissed me on my cheek.  I pulled back a little because he caught me off guard.  I knew where this was headed, and I never felt so unsure about anything in my life.  And yet, Tyrus never seemed surer than at this point.  Not cocky, but confident about being my first.  He said to me, “Destinee, don’t worry about it, if you want to leave, we’ll leave”.  I’m like “Yeah, right!” Tyrus said, “No, I mean it. I really want to do this, but if you don’t, I understand.”  I said, “Tyrus, let’s go home, I don’t think I am ready.”  He said “Okay”, and we started paddling back to shore….

 

        Now, it had gotten later in the evening and the wind had picked up considerably; so much so that it was hard for us to paddle because we were paddling against the wind.  Tyrus asked me what was I feeling at that moment when I thought we were gonna do it.  I told him that I felt nauseous. I told him that I was scared. He said that he could tell, and that he would never make me do anything that I didn’t want to do.  He said that he came prepared though.  He opened his backpack and he had all kinds of things in there…condoms of all sizes, he had KY jelly up in there; chocolate syrup, mints, roses... He wanted to make it a special day for me.  More than anything, he seemed like he truly wanted me to enjoy the experience.  As we paddled back to shore, Tyrus and I talked about his first time, and how it was a one-night stand with someone a few years older than himself.  He said that although he enjoyed it, it wasn’t the way that he wanted to lose his virginity.  He finally confessed to me that he wanted my first time to be with him because he thought that he could make it more special than anyone else could.  In my mind, I was thinking, you know what Tyrus, it already has been.  Now, we had stopped paddling by this point. We seemed as if we were moving in slow motion.  Tyrus turned around to pick up the oars.  He wanted to continue paddling.  When he turned back around, I placed a condom in his hand…”I’m ready”….

 

        Tyrus and I arrived at “Lake Paraiso de Destino” not knowing what to expect.  We left that night knowing one thing was for sure; that we would always be able to count on one another.   Not only did I become a woman that day, but, Tyrus also became a man.  I think that a boy becomes a man if he can exhibit certain traits when dealing with a virgin; patience, gentleness and respect.  Tyrus was all of those things with me, when he didn’t have to be.  He made my first time memorable, not because of the sex - truth be told, he seemed more like the virgin than I did �" but, for introducing me to that lake; for the songs; for the canoe ride; for treating it as an ‘experience’, and not just an ‘act’.  Tyrus and I became very good friends.  He would go on to a successful music career, after I urged him to learn to play the guitar; and Lake Paraiso de Destino and I would meet again….      

 

        “How about them Mavericks”!  That was our battle cry. Our mascot was a Maverick-which is sort of a ‘big a*s’ cow- and although we were a football town, for a few years back in the day, basketball reigned supreme.  Basketball season was always my favorite time of the year; for one, because I was a basketball junkie, and two, because it was the only sport that started in the fall semester, and ended in the spring semester.  It kept me busy for the majority of the year, and I liked being busy.    I was a returning All-District player, and Team Captain.  Coaches from all over were calling me, sending me letters, and vying for me to come play basketball for their schools; plus, we had made it all the way to the state title game my junior year.  This was going to be an unforgettable season, and nothing was going to stop me from my goal of getting a college scholarship.

 

        The season started off great. We won all of our non-district games, were a perfect 12-0, and were ranked the #2 girls basketball team in the state.  I was averaging 18 points and 11 rebounds a game.  Things were going just as I had planned.  I had just gone back into the locker room after one of our victories, when it happened; our starting point guard, we called her ‘lil bit’, kissed me on the lips.  At the time, it didn’t mean anything to me because we were teammates, and had just won a big game; and because I thought she was kidding around.  I just pushed her aside saying… “Cut that out girl”! But now, looking back on that kiss, that was the beginning of a new breed of women’s ball players, and I wasn’t willing to play by those rules…

 

        About a week after that kiss, I was getting showered after practice, when Tasha Lacey, a role player on the team came in and began taking a shower next to me.  This was her first year playing for us and I didn’t know her very well, so we began talking.  She seemed cool enough.  I put Shampoo in my hair, and with my eyes closed, I began to wash it out.  Then, all of a sudden I felt something warm on my breasts.  I opened my eyes, and jumped back.  Tasha was licking my n*****s.  “What the hell are you doing?” I responded.  Tasha said, “I saw you kiss ‘lil bit’ last week. I didn’t know you rolled that way, but I’m glad you do”.  I said, “Roll what way”?  She started flicking her tongue real fast.  I said, “I don’t roll that way, and never will”.  Tasha said, “Too bad, because we could have one hell of a party”.  I got out of the shower and everyone was gone.  I didn’t realize it was so late.  I didn’t know what the hell was going on; first ‘lil bit’, and now Tasha.  My mind was tripping.  Now, every time my teammates look at me, I visualize them lusting over me.  At this point, I’m thinking about our next game, and keeping our undefeated record in tact. 

 

        Our next game was a rivalry game.  I had my game face on and I wasn’t gonna allow us to lose.  We started the game off with a quick 10-0 run, and everything was all-good.  But, then ‘lil bit’, pats me on the butt as we run down court.  Now, we always did that to show our appreciation for a good play or whatever, but after ‘the kiss’, and the incident with Tasha, I didn’t know whether I was being patted on the butt for a good play, or because they wanted to feel me up.  It all of a sudden felt weird; so weird in fact, that it threw me off my game.  I wasn’t making the plays that I used to make; nor was I focused on just the game.

 

          Now, our rival had come back to tie the game late in the 4^th quarter. I had missed my last 5 shots, so I’m trying to find my rhythm; well, after another miss, Tasha pats me on the butt and tells me to get it together.  It was an innocent enough pat, but my whole spine tingled when she did that.  She just didn’t know how my mind was affected by all those pats. We were down by a point with time running out, and I knew that I would have to take the last shot.  No matter how many times I had missed, they still believed in me.  Inevitably, during the timeout, everyone kept patting me on the butt.  I had lost my confidence.  As much as my teammates believed in me, I had stopped believing in myself.   We ran a pick play to get me a wide open shot and as soon as ‘lil bit’ passed me the ball, I dribbled it off my foot and out of bounds as the clock hit 0:00.  Till this day, I believe that I dribbled that ball off my foot on purpose so that I wouldn’t have to attempt, and in my mind miss, that last shot.  That was our first loss that year, and I was to blame.  As many games as I had won for us over the years that one loss seemed to wipe them all away.  I was devastated.  That game was the beginning of the end for me and basketball…

 

        After the loss to our rivals, I missed the next game with a sprained ankle.  We lost that too.  I was feeling more and more like I wasn’t a part of the team.  I didn’t hang out with the girls much outside of basketball; plus, my shot still was off.  I would go to basketball practice every other day, and I always ended up getting hurt…a sprained ankle hear, a jammed thumb there.  Basketball just wasn’t fun for me anymore.  Pretty soon coach had had enough; so he benched me.  I was no longer a starter, but a benched starter, which is worse than never starting in the first place.  Pretty soon college coaches started calling around inquiring about my attitude, and health concerns.  I could feel my scholarship slipping away every minute that I was on that bench.

 

        I missed a couple more games because I was “injured”, and the look in my teammates’ eyes told me all that I needed to know.  I had lost them.  I was no longer their leader, no longer their captain.  Not only did they not respect me, but they didn’t even like me anymore.  As their season spiraled downhill, I sat on that bench and did nothing.  I didn’t even try to show up for practice to work on my game.  I just made excuses for why I couldn’t play, and therefore, get dressed and undressed in the locker room.  Our team had just won its last regular season game to squeak into the playoffs.  Although I didn’t help them do it, I felt proud of them for winning that last game.  I decided right then to show up for the next practice and try to regain their trust.  Only, at that time, I didn’t know that they were too far-gone.  Their trust was like a dandelion in the wind…blown away…   

 

        I showed up at the first practice to everyone’s surprise.  I was hitting some shots too.  I shocked myself, but it looked like my teammates were even more shocked.  I felt good.  I thought to myself, we are gonna sweep through these playoffs.  After practice, I spoke to a couple of college recruiters about the past few weeks, and me not being totally focused.  I assured them that I had put that behind me; and they assured me that they would be checking me out during our playoff run.  I was more excited than ever.  I still had a chance to land that scholarship.  When I got back in the dressing room, most of the players and staff had gone.  I went to take a shower.  As I was washing myself, Tasha Lacey walked into the shower; then ‘lil bit’; then three other girls.  I said, “What’s going on ladies”? ‘Lil bit’ said, “You won’t be going to no college”.  I said “Huh”.  Then, the three girls jumped me.  They held me down, while Tasha and ‘lil bit’, and whoever else raped me.  While it was happening, I felt helpless.   No one could hear my screams.  I felt like a little kid being picked on by bigger kids on the playground.  I didn’t know why they were doing it; I only wanted it to be over.  When the rape ended, so did my dreams of a scholarship; and my desire to play the game that I loved.  

 

        I never played another basketball game for my school. Nor did I tell anyone about the rape.  At the time, I didn’t think anyone would have believed me, but I guess I didn’t want the embarrassment of being raped by women to be my calling card either. So, I simply walked away; from basketball, school, everything.  The team lost its very first playoff game, and I couldn’t have cared less. The coach called me a million times; all my people wondered why I didn’t play. I was emotionally beat down.   I had a nervous breakdown, so I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital.  I thought maybe they could get me back right.  I now know that you can’t get ‘back’ right, something that was never right to start…

 

        As I was leaving the school for the last time, I saw “lil bit” out in the parking lot.  She was leaning against this car all hugged up to this bigger, huskier girl.  The girl’s head was turned, so I couldn’t make out whom she was.  As I walked past them, it became clearer to me.  It was Rosie Flowers.  I thought to myself, what the hell!  I never believed in karma until that day; never thought that I could become a victim of it until I didn’t graduate.  No matter how popular you think you are; or how smart you think you are; karma has a way of putting you in your place…

 

           

 

                       

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

             

 

             

Author's Note

Is it easy to follow?

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The story was easy to follow. You are a talented writer. I like story line. Your use of description made each place and scene come alive. I liked how you us the game of basketball to make the story solid and understandable. A sad ending to the story. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Erik T. Jackson]

Thank you very much, the feedback is appreciated Coyote...

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.