encounter

encounter

 

 

 

words in assembled multitude

search direction

 

Jennifer Lawrence key

like a mocking consonant that skips

in syllabic sign

motions them to follow

 

and the letters in formation

begin to attack the poet's mind

a cacophony of inner sound

the shrill sentiment

lays the page to waste

and in the end, among the ruins

 

a few phrases lie wounded

scars of the past bandaged with rhyming tourniquets

they heal just enough

 

to wake the imagination

into thinking it has won the war.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/815

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'encounter'
jacob erin-cilberto,
The work it takes to assemble thoughts and words and find a harmonious and honest end result is what this piece felt like to me. Your theme of syllabic restiveness and thoughts that just are hard to place made sense. Anyway it is great to be challenged and feel that your true inner concept finds it's home on the page. This ending made your point well too....
"and the letter's in formation
begin to attack the poet's mind
a cacophony of inner sound
the shrill sentiment
lays the page to waste
and in the end, among the ruins

a few phrases lie wounded
scars of the past bandaged with rhyming tourniquets they heal just eneough

to wake the imagination
into thinking it has won the war"
All I can say is this poem was really clever!
Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Kathy.
j.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Jacob,
You are very welcome and I have seen that you have gone on to publish and probably already were. Congratulations and good for you!
Best wishes...
Kathy

[Neville]

Ha, such is the poets lot, both rich and poor, probably more the latter. An excellent bit o writing here...N

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Neville.
j.

[Dalton]

This is superb writing. The meaning, whether inherent or projected onto the piece — whichever perspective one may take in reading this, is so very deep. I'm sensing the decadence of a poet, in this case a brilliant one, who is expressing one explanation of the writing process. Perhaps this is describing an affective time where writing is a painful form of catharsis "a cacophony of inner sound". I don't know if every person is fighting a war, at least not one which is tied to one's existence, however for those who are, the last lines are crushing. One feels the deep inner chatter, introspections cool tone, begin to awaken. This voice denies the final stanza or accepts it, and lands oneself with many confounding questions.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Dalton...
j.

[rubie]

absolutely love how you use the metaphor here.

done to perfection in this compelling piece.

i am reminded of how many snippets of of poems i have scattered over my battlefield....phrases i jotted down when they "attacked" my brain, unprovoked, challenging me to retaliate when I was out of ammo...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, rubie.
j.

[~]

In albania we say that the tongue looks for the missing tooth.. there's a resonating pain revisited many times within these lines, and only your extraordinary ability to unfold metaphors could do justice to a subject as sensitive as this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, moonskittles...

j.

[W.k.kortas]

To piggy back on the good dana's review...I think any of us who fancy themselves able to write a bit have a conception of that one poem, the one piece where the execution finally fully realizes the conception of what it should be, where the words and construction do not merely encounter each other in an excuse-me fashion, where the cacophony you note becomes symphony. Many have written about that dilemma; few have written it this well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, W.k.

j.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Surviving a battle and winning the war are very different but too often we want to fool ourselves into believing what we wish for.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Cherry.
j.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

You're welcome. :)

[h d e rushin]

in 44, Hitler's 8th army threw everything into the battle in the Ardennes. But truth be told, the war
was already lost. Perhaps Jacob poetic words themselves stand as a certain war-fare, with sounds and
phrases being that incessant shelling. And again this is a tremendous analogy to struggle and
compromise that the poem, especially the one yet written, beckons .

Always good to read your thoughts my friend.....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights and kind review, dana...

j.

[NeiL ArandA]

Premature wound healing . This reminds me of an encounter between a preacher and a poet over some system of theological doctrine. The preacher hold on to his beliefs and the poet showed him how it was misplace through his chosen and spoken words .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you have such keen insights into the works,
much appreciated, Neil...

j.

[...]

I prefer Sam Elliot lol I have MANY pages of fleeting thoughts that never assembled. Broken singular thoughts that mean something to me...maybe waiting to mean something to someone else...maybe not. Awesome write, Jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah yes, Sam....thank you for your insights, lynn.

j.