a Disturbance on the Turnpike

  

a Disturbance on the Turnpike

 

 

 

the traffic spilled into the streets

like my tears

my heart wove in and out of memory lane

your white hair, your labored sighs

crystal clear visions as the mile markers

noted my sorrow with a roadside empathy

and counted down the minutes to when

i might park inside your aura

one last time---

but the rush hour wouldn't wait

and neither could you---

 

so i said my good-byes

into a rear view mirror,

that looked back at me

with sojourned sympathy,

and tried to drive past my grief.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/15/11

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'a Disturbance on the Turnpike'
Jacob,
The title is a very helpful and well chosen one. The whole poem gives a somber message. We are all traveling along and the sudden slowing and leaving of another from the flow of traffic cannot be ignored. It does cause, " the traffic spills onto the streets." No longer does life simply flow in harmony but as you say, "my heart wove in and out of memory lane."
Very touching writing which I read and thought a lot about. Loved ones of my own and time is passing- rolling along.
Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Kathy,
j.

[rubie]

This one hit me hard...so hard that it took me a little time to compose myself to write this.

All because there is one person whom I am not quite ready to let go....don't think i ever will be.

And when that time comes, I will find myself on that same turnpike, in that same lane....

[....................]

life continues on as those we love find themselves labouring in life's final breaths...our own immortality becomes clear as we desperately try to edge pass grief while clinging to those rear view memories... and it is a disturbance but only to those directly affected, while life rushes on... great write, my friend...Kavagnah wrote "let grief be a falling leaf at the dawning of the day' but it isn't that easy is it?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no it's not that easy...thank you for your insights, FT.

j.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

This is so very sad, we hope that the road to heaven will have a big traffic jam that moves slow but sometimes an express lane opens up...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Cherry.

j.

[Linda alexander]

This is the first time I met this particular metaphor, makes real sense, life and traffic great combo

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Linda.


j.

[...]

Jacob...this really hit me. I am parked in the rush hour traffic...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, lynn....and so sorry you are stuck in that jam.

j.

[Leslie Philibert]

What I really like here is the way Jacob exports feelings and uses them in a creative form of expression.
For me, the way to write poetry, to find the truth in things and so relive internal emotion. Fine poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Leslie.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

This one really hit me today, Jacob. People who meant a lot to us....do we ever really say goodbye? I think we keep the memories. We DO "park inside " their auras when we remember. Driving past grief....while living in the midst of it is not advisable, I don't think we ever truly get past it. The metaphor here is splendid. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i don't think we ever CAN say goodbye....thank you for your words, Lydi...

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

For such a morbid fellow you thing grief would be a little less light on his feet. I hear you on this done, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your insights, Pryde...

thank you,

j.