Pin-pricked Senryu of the Heart

Pin-pricked Senryu of the Heart

 

 

poem in freezer bag

to save for another day

burned words now useless

 

can't eat them

write them

or recycle them

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/25/15

Reviews

[paddy d daly]

Think l know what you mean,
You have to use it while it's
Fresh, so many times l have
Words in my mind and once
they drift away it is so hard
to get them back...paddy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, paddy,

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Can hardly offer a freezer-burned poem.
Apparently, this was a time when you weren't sure you could soon create worthwhile new poetry.
Happily, that fear quickly showed itself to be completely unwarranted.
Great bit of verse!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jimmy.

j.

[rubie]

terrific and clever metaphor....

once frozen, the words lose texture and taste.

fresh is always best....

love this one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, rubie.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

once into the bag ..even the best intent will not save them :{ and we truly can't eat write nor recycle them ... and my shredder does not accept Zipo, Glad or generic ...
i suppose the best that they do is give value to those bags we can honestly tag as "will finish" ... perhaps dry ice and a splintering celebration might give them their due ;)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and we wonder...will we ever finish them or ourselves, or are we all just a work in progress....
read moreand we wonder...will we ever finish them or ourselves, or are we all just a work in progress....

thank you, E.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i see what you mean ..perhaps each a thread to the next ... and how boring finished must be ;)

[ms. barrie]

ah very riveting write, brilliantly portrays those illusive words, we all try to capture,
but they are there, among reality's clutter *distraction* --- they reside between the heart and mind but both have to be aligned *at least for me* at the same time.
or... perhaps i should check my freezer :)
your words always leaves a lasting impression for all. thank you for sharing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, and for the smile.

j.

[ms. barrie]

you're welcome...and likewise!

[Geralyn Miller]

Ah, Love, I have written for more than 50 years, one can always recycle words Sometimes, the words must be deconstructed and reassembled in a new and higher form; sometimes they must be tossed in the compost bin and used to grow new and better words; and, sometimes, once in a rare while, that little phrase lingering in your writing notebook for many a year will suddenly blossom into a full fledged and wonderful poem. (I write lots of senryu and haiku and consider them definitely full fledged poems.)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really enjoy your insights into writing, Geralyn...your response is better than the poem.
read morereally enjoy your insights into writing, Geralyn...your response is better than the poem.

j.

[Miss Sharon]

But what IF you could recycle them? Would they hurt less the second (or more) time(s) around? Your beautiful poetry always gets my mind running in several directions at once...and I believe that's a good thing! ~Sharon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Sharon.

j.

[Cassie]

Hahahahaha....they are hidden somewhere inside that bag between your ears. Loved it as usual

[jacob erin-cilberto]

:)))
thank you, Cassie.

j.

[KeeD]

Consumption for the mind, soul and heart is your product. Sometimes hiding that hidden chocolate bar under the bed get forgotten but know this the taste of your words is unforgettable jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Kee,

j.

[Michael Oliver]

I like the enigma of the use of the 'burned' freezer burnt. or preserved ashes . Words beyond reconstitution. Yep like this - plenty to think on - thanks

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Michael..

j.