the call

the call

 

 

you are guilty of encroachment---

making your move too soon

but your only penalty

will be kisses

under the watchful eye

of a referee moon.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/21/15

Reviews

[ExquisiteEyes]

This is short but it compelled me to read it again. I wish there was more to read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Exquisite...
j.

[PoetbearII]

Short.
Well written.Poignant and powerful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you PoetbearII,

j.

[Cryingkate]

I agree with Redzone " Encroaching Kisses" Oooh I like that.
Somehow I find this write, super sexy. Something I never thought would come from you Jacob. :-)
But the sorta gruff Macho connotations mixed with a Humphrey Bogart style just ticks like clock parts.
Hmm Maybe the freedom of making the move too soon strikes a hidden chord?
it's a keeper....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Connie....

j.

[Cryingkate]

Thank You for the thrill.. I needed something to stir my poor circulation :-)
Got any more hidden surprises?

[Adam Adams]

Referee Moon? Sounds captivating & artistic, of course.
I find your writing has a very little speck of rhythm in words, which I never found in your earlier writes. Seemed, you working on something new & eye-catching. The metaphor of your poetry is seemed to be standing under the tryst & soothing one romantic lullaby to his lover of the very night when or whilst the shades -- the brightness of moon "whistles" the lights & bring 'em one "call" to be watched 'neath such "encroachments". Beautiful, thoughtful & very touching poetry, as always!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Adams....

j.

[redzone]

touchdown!!!!! everyone else did the analysis, I will concentrate on the "encroaching kisses".... perhaps being off sides is a good thing Jacob...

~~redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha...thank you for the smile, Curt...

j.

[CD Campbell]

Jacob, Did you just make a little rhyme? I'm going to have to pull your free-verse card. Haha. Great short piece. Whimsical. CD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i admit...a little rhyme snuck in there...thank you for your kind words, CD.

j.

[WhiteWillow]

Better to encroach rather than stand still like a statue, watching the play develop without your part.

Loved this!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, WhiteWillow.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Such penalties--against female players, of course--are quite bearable.
Also, the moon makes a great ref because it rarely speaks (does, supposedly, communicate with "lunatics," every now and then.)
Your metaphors are truly a delight!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and your responses are a delight as well...metaphorical in their own right...

j.

[rubie]

backfield in motion....

five-yard penalty. no first down.

love the metaphor, jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, and the smile

j.