Chill

Chill

 

 

the wind of you whistles

too loudly past my heart's ear

your relevance lingers blatantly

even in the quiet, after.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/22/16

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good of words my friend. Left the reader with deep thoughts and lonely place. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, John....
i appreciate your visits.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[Taylor]

I generally do not review poetry because I'm terribly deficient in knowledge and appreciation of it. So there's the disclaimer, warning you that what follows may be of little use. Another bit of honesty -- I found your poem after scoping you out as a top reviewer (and I'm in need of help through cogent reviews). Yet, I fear that since I write only prose and you have posted only poetry, there may be such a gulf between us that we won't intersect. But I'll try. First, I like the poem -- the image of the wind whistling and all that that stirs up within me -- the turbulence and the sense of uncontrollable nature -- the vulnerability -- and pairing that with its impact on the heart is simply a beautiful and intense image with meaning on many levels. Then the contrast with the quiet after the storm when the effects are equally intense. The only discordant line for me was the last "quiet, after." I don't know why; I can't explain it, but somehow, I stumbled over it when for me the rest of the poem flowed so gracefully. Sorry for such an inept review, but that's the extent of what I have to offer.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

not inept at all...i appreciate the honesty and the insight very much...thank you, Taylor...and yes, i am on here in short intervals...and have trouble keeping up with the poetry reviews...so i generally stay away from reading the prose pieces.....but will check on of yours out for sure...
did you try reading the last line with the emphasis on the first word? might help it flow better for you---
thanks again for the visit.
j.

[Taylor]

Thank you, Jacob. Now I did read the last line with the emphasis on the first word and found the flow to be better. Still I stumbled a bit and I think it's the comma between quiet and after. But, you know that's a grain of salt.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and i did play with that last line...comma in, comma out...but i needed for it to read with the emphasis on "after"---but i do see your point and really appreciate the honest review.

j.

[David Scott]

I like this. This poem speaks volumes in a few lines and does so with artful elegance.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, and extended visit, David.

j.

[maria ( rose)]

a well thought out poem. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, maria...

appreciate your visit.

j.

[Solar]

The 'wind of you whistling past' - cold and cutting, wounds the heart. In just a few lines - the pain that lingers.

---

[on the flip/irrevernt side, it wasn't chilli-beans and not that kinda wind :) ]

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no, not that kind of wind. :)
thank you, Solar.

j.

[Solar]

thank you, j.

[V]

Thoughtful and emotional. I could feel the cold of your words and the silence in the last line.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Vanessa...

j.

[V]

Welcome :)

[Aura Devour]

Short yet hits right in the feels. Beautiful, reminded me of my special one. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing, Aura.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I felt is yesterday in the blizzard only I didn't know you were going to be out there. 2 + feet from a falling landscape.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha...yes, thank you, my friend.

j.

[alifeacoustic]

Perfectly stated, from the heart ear to pen Jacob. Superb.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, alife.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Smashing imagery; four stunning lines!
Amazing bit of work, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jimmy.

j.