Diagnosis

Diagnosis

 

 

varicose veins extend through his paragraphs,

his story having a troubled theme walking unsteadily

as he raises cane with the old typewriter

that can't keep up with his racing mind

 

his legs ache, like his heart

she drew a forlorn map on his heart

and the route to insatiable love

detoured into pale skin

and darkened blood,

 

perhaps plastic surgery might rearrange his semantics

but the conclusion of the story?

 

eventually will clot

into an Aneurysm 

causing total writer's block

and eventually death within

blank walls of a paper incision.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/29/16

Reviews

[Hyacinth]

Amazing! Wow... I do not think that I can say on words how good this is!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Hyacnith

j.

[TL Boehm]

wow. this is a deep one. The finality of the physical and the mental - the writer and the writing. And love itself.
she drew a forlorn map on his heart
and the route to insatiable love
detoured into pale skin
and darkened blood,
that right there. My my. This one gets to the core of a person and stays there.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Tammy...

j.

[Érenn]

Hello there, this is my first review to any poem here and i must say, i am at a loss of words. Though I say I write for fun, looking at this truly inspires me to write something meaningful as well, doesn't matter in what form.
I liked it, i may not be able to express the words i want at the moment, but i want you to know, that it has left a deep impression on me and may even serve as an inspiration.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind thoughts, Errenn.

j.

[Cassie]

I do not know why i smiled after reading the last stanza.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

glad it could bring one to you...thank you for your extended visit--

j.

[Scott Thompson]

Trying to decipher your true meaning is the ironman triathlon of the mind for a dullard such as myself. Thanks for the workout J! As always an interesting read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Scott....:)))

[Norman 223]

I enjoyed your anthropomorphisation of literary endeavour - and to come back to earth again - your last stanza was a "humdinger."

Norman

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you kindly for your words, Norman.

j.

[iand63]

Quite a scary concept for a writer, terminal writer's block. Doesn't bear thinking about so;

Monday Tuesday happy days
Thursday Friday happy days .............

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha, thanks ian...or should i say, richie cunningham...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

What a great metaphor....medical conditions....unique! Blank pages and paper cuts as cause of death? Hey, stranger things have happened. Loved the thought of varicose veins in a poem. Good one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, lydi.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

thoughts will spill on a paper cut! All your writes pulsate life J Terrific write, Clever as!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew.

j.

[...]

laughing...you are an endless flow of metaphoric blood. Clotting? Ha! you have no idea what it is to be "dried up" Your creative expression will simply reroute, never succumbing to writer's block. Diagnosis, creative brilliance! And...this poem is PROOF of it hahaha

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh i do get it...but usually it doesn't last too long, and i find one sure way to get out of it is to write "about" it...
thank you for your kind words, lynn.

j.