the other side of "Last Call"

the other side of "Last Call"

 

 

non-committal lips

frost colored mascara

snow white hair 

fashioned in tight bun

 

lashes bland black shadow

she is the one

the heart underneath yearns for freedom

from the staunch mind that jails her

 

he is her exclusive bond

she gives up her valuables

in exchange

 

for a trip to the other side

of the bars

where the cherries are plucked

from the sours,

and the stems sewn together

 

by tongues woven

in fruitful friction...

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/5/16

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This is such a sad, yet interesting poem, Jacob. Perhaps I am off here, but the "he" to me is the bartender, or perhaps even the "Black Jack"....
I love the title
and especially the line "for a trip to the other side
of the bars" - those bars of her held back hopes, and fears, and the inability to let her true self free
Perhaps, she has never valued herself and so has never exposed what would bring to her the friendship and love that would be truly appreciative.
"tongues woven in fruitful friction" - I can see how this could be physical, but to me, in thinking of the bartender, it could be the lonely conversation...hour after hour till closing. I used to bar tend long ago, and there were so many who just wanted someone to listen...as if they wanted to be reminded that they existed and were not ghosts.
I may have missed what you meant, but what I see and feel from this has touched me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really interesting and insightful approach to this..thank you, Claire..

and you never would miss what i meant...i enjoy how readers read my poems and the interpretation is always open...regardless of what possessed me to write a particular piece.

i also learn from the readers often times what i might have subconsciously meant.

thank you, again.

j.

[Matching Socks]

I'm not sure what to make of this. I've seen girls, even friends of mine leave the bars with men they've only just met. I think if both adults are consenting and just want a fling then sure... But too often I think it's a lack of confidence and self respect. Looking for love and mistaking it for sex. Anyway, I really love that last line about the tongues in fruitful friction. That's pretty hot Jacob. Nice...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ana....always insightful...and the folks here often teach me about my own poems...

j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice journey and places described in the words.
"by tongues woven
in fruitful friction..."
The above lines. Wonderful. Thank you Jacob for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Coyote...
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Always a pleasure to read your work and you are welcome.

[Ana B.]

Oh my, this is e new favorite of mine! Hauntingly dreamy and beautiful piece dear author.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Ana...

j.

[andrew mitchell]

Reminds me of the single scene, sad creatures just wanting to be loved but locked in their own meltdown but dreamers none the less. Nice write Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, andrew,

j.

[Nisreen]

I feel the writer sees right through this woman
through her makeup
into her soul

discovering a world
on the other side ....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful reply, my friend.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

There are people who simply know how to get in the way of themselves. Is this her case? Maybe.

But since we are at Last Call why don't I propose a shot & beer toast to your poem. Cheers!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al..i am raising my glass in agreement.

j.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Some people won't trust after being broken. They will just stand up and move on alone. But some still hope for a new life with a new one...even if it means forgetting her past and present.
Well-done. Thanks for the share.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, my friend,
j.

[redzone]

seems like she is a casualty of the "bar scene" a looking for love in all the wrong places kinda scene... (there was a song about this with those lines but I forget the title and singer)... I saw it more as a woman trapped by her choices or thinking this was her only choice...

it's a disheartening scene you picture here Jacob: "tight bun", "gives up her valuables" which in this case seems much more than some sex, but always hoping for the "good life"... "Looking For Mr. Goodbar" if it doesn't kill her, will entrap and demean her... are we really this shallow Jacob??

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i wish we weren't but some are i am afraid...although i don't think she necessarily is...she is just so completely closed up...

i appreciate your replies, both witty, and insightful.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

For me, this conjures images of the old bar fly, wanting to forget her troubles, her misspent youth -- we can see it in them, but do we see it in ourselves?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is the trick..to see it in ourselves...

thank you, KL...

j.