on a small table in the back of the eye

on a small table in the back of the eye

 

 

rummage sale, hearts

cheap gifts to the poor 

seeking alms for mere mention of love

 

small signs of enticement

ruptured prices

taken home for a pittance 

 

then forgotten for remittance

and bled onto another table

to be purchased

for even less than a full heartbeat.

 

 

 

 

erin--cilberto

6/11/16

Reviews

[Ana Papaya]

Sorry I missed this one. It's super. The heart may feel worthless but one man's junk is another's gold...
I think the wear and tear increases the value. It can be marketed as 'experienced'. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, for some of us...an awful lot of "experience"

thank you, Ana...
j.

[H.L. Cerveise]

I like this writing. Your first line hooked me, there are so many things in the back of our minds and from now on I will think of them on a small table backed against the boundary of my gray matter.

Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, H.L.

j.

[Karen]

A little inspiration from your first line, but not along the same lines... Thank you for the inspiration.


on a small table in the back of the eye

you sit with a cup of coffee in one hand,
sipping the black, steamy contents,
just the way you like it, while balancing
my heart and soul in the other hand
like Chinese stress balls roaming
between your inadvertent fingers
in dizzying motions, leaving me
with a cold metallic taste in my mouth.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow...love your poem....and flattered mine could inspire this

[Karen]

Thank you, J. I appreciate your artistic flattery :)

[Karen]

www.deviantwriter2.blogspot.com/2016/06/on-small-table-in-back-of-eye.html

Thank you, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

quite the poem...glad i could help with some inspiration...

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

then forgotten for remittance
and bled onto another table
to be purchased
for even less than a full heartbeat.

Wonderful write, Jacob. Really great work:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Pryde...:))))

[V]

Your metaphors work well in this one, I can totally relate to the feelings conveyed. I am always so fond of your word choices, they read great.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Vanessa.

j.

[Fran Marie]

love is oh so fleeting and in an instant relationships can change..like that last line ..for even less than a full heart beat..sums it up quite nicely..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Fran Marie.
j.

[sakshi arora]

This is strong and nice. I love the imagery

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, sakshi
j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

when hearts go for sale then they can only be purchased with love.
Would one heart be enough or do we have to go to every rummage sale to buy discarded hearts?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Shabeeh...

i would hope one heart would be enough...and maybe could love enough for several.

j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

The biggest mistake we can make is jumping into a new relationship when we are still craving the last one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, so true. Thank you, Dale.

j

[Lydia Shutter]

A sort of white elephant sale for hearts? No matter how many times we take one home and then discard it, we will return to that small table. I believe it is part of the human consciousness. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Lydi

j.