Dreamy Precipitation

Dreamy Precipitation 

dreary tears just keep falling

pounding the roof of my heart

flooding my path to blue sky wines

to savor the flavor of you,

my door is open

but you won't take shelter...

i could catch your clouds 

and wring them dry

but your eyes latch onto a different climate

and i continue in the shadow of your mist

with my missed intentions

trying to find a heavier raincoat

one that might absorb more disappointment

until your rain subsides

and your heart emerges 

from its shelter

finally seeing me

standing before you

clutching a sun meant

for us to share.

erin-cilberto

7/4/16

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

People who are depressed seldom see the light at the end of the tunnel....even that light includes a loving hug and understanding ear. Being a good friend is important, but everyone has a saturation level. Sometimes the "blue sky wines" are ones the person drowns in. Good one, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Lydi.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I'm thinking of a weatherman giving a very creative report on the local news but I discover these sort of condition can have universal implications.

Happy Sunshine Jacob!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your cheerful review, and the smile, my friend

j.

[Marcus Sergiu David]

The way you paint with words continues to amaze me as much as when I first read a poem of yours. Thanks for sharing your work. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Marcus...

j.

[RomaJ]

Although I do love the rain and stormy weather. There is nothing like the feeling when you finally see the Sun-shining, chasing away the dark clouds from our eyes. It's almost like seeing the light for the first time again. This is absolutely beautiful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and you are very kind, thank you for reading my work and the positive review, Roma

j.

[V]

A heavy one with a light ending. It seems to me that we are frequently writing about similar topics, I find myself in your words again, that's great. Your word use is finely crafted though I'm not entirely content with "savor the flavor", this tiny rhyming line doesn't seem to completely match with the other words and structure but that's only a slight critique point. Nice one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind and honest review....reviewers often pick out favorite lines...but it helps to hear of lines that don't seem to fit...allows us to go back take another look.
j.

[V]

I agree that's why I do it. But only suggestions, I never meant to say "change it". You're welcome.

[Rachel]

A beautiful, touching poem. The visuals and words you used really drew me in. I hope you continue to write like this as your poems bring more beauty to a desperate world.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Fiona...
appreciate your words,
j.

[Bacchus]

i love the blue sky wines...
really is the best line here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bacchus...

j.

[Coyote Poetry]

A emotional ride in the words.
"one that might absorb more disappointment
until your rain subsides
and your heart emerges
from its shelter"
When the heart is bury. The person must defeat their demons to rebirth. I like the positive ending to a journey of finding happiness and peace.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Coyote.

j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[Ana Papaya]

Wow, this seems like like totally devoted and unconditional love that us just screaming 'hey, I'm here. For you. Take the gift I offer!' I like this.

[Ana Papaya]

That should say *is

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, i am always open to interpretations of poetry, especially my work...but you made me swallow hard with what you said...you are so spot on...

thank you, Ana.

j.

[Ana Papaya]

Well I'm glad you understood my comment despite all my silly typos! :D

[Marianne Rose]

Beautiful visual poetry, the kind a lover would love, that might make them fall in love again, embrace the vulnerability and endurance that comes through. "Finally seeing me" rings of that loneliness of feeling misunderstood, judged and unaware of the gifts of the shelter inside that open door. "Standing before you" - there's strength in the stance- not kneeling, not crumpled, standing, waiting, hoping (otherwise, why be there at all, waiting?) "Clutching a sun" - the grasping of something that will warm the otherwise cold day and dry up the pounding rain, a balm to the heart. "Meant for us to share" speaks of destiny - the love that comes once in a lifetime, the love that asks forgiveness and forgives, the love the other does not see because "eyes latch onto different climate". I could take this line by line and see what I see in it, feel what comes across. It holds so much, is sad but not forlorn or desperate, does not emit a feeling of self-pity but of pathos. I love it. Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Marianne...

j.