Plath-Land

Plath-Land

 

 

 

i am like a severed ocean

a Great Lake, drained into a small pond

inspiration has grounded itself onto a sand bar

 

my poetic feet touching the bottom

murky semantics, no blue

except for the cold compress against my brain

 

words try to swim to the surface

but like mud cats

dance against the dam

whirlpool wisdom holds its breath

 

there will be a sun

and i will write toward it again

just not this day

 

for now,

my pen does the dead man's float

and it feels all too real.

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/20/16

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

A wonderfully psychological write, Jacob. When words are bogged down with responsibility and angst, no poems are written. There are many Bell Jars in this world.....Plath had hers and we have our own individual ones. Thing is, we can escape them....and we do on the wings of words. I liked this one a lot, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi..

j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

It's time for a forehead kiss! mwuahhhhh, let's see if that gets things started!they are magical you know and don't require 25characters:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha...thanks, Queenie...

j.

[Bacchus]

Well I just finished The Bell Jar- thanks to you.
And I have her collection of poetry waiting to devour next.

I think some of our most relate able moments in life are in seeking the sun.
It's human and real.

I once did a piece of art titled No Winter and all the seasons were gray... I'll send you a picture.
This is beautiful... and strong in the midst of your high pieces of rays of light.

-Bacchus

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bacchus....and what did you think about the Bell Jar?

she published it anonymously at first---

look forward to No Winter.

j.

[Ana Papaya]

When the inspiration starts to seep out of us it can be quite devastating.
I'm relatively new to writing compared to some so I went through my first serious dry spell this summer I said to some friends that I honestly felt like I had penned my last poem because I had nothing more to say. but there is always more to say and as long as you are alive then life will inspire you to write.
even if it's not always happy stuff. Al has already offered you a life jacket so I won't do that.
How about a lifesaver? What's your favourite flavour? I like the green ones. Did I mention I really like this poem. You have a way with words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ana....i like butterscotch....

yes, sooner or later, life does inspire us to pick the pen back up...and write away.

j.

[Ana Papaya]

butterscotch, blagh! :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Alfred Kukitz]

Ok Mr. Plath!

I must say finding you in uninspired waters surely took some time. I thought you were lost but I can see light in your semantic stroke. If you need a life jacket I'm here!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al...i will let you know...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

the dry spell has hit ...great title and what better search than her words for inspiration .. love the image of mud cats bouncing off the dam :) maybe a perfect day to go fishing!!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, time to drop a line in the water...thank you, E.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ..............

[Deuces]

First thing that struck me was the Sylvia reference. I'm a huge fan of her and Ted Hughes. I can feel the frustration in this piece. It's weird how I can relate to this, as I am a technical writer by profession and feel this exact way right now. It's weird, because it's not writer's block, because we'll write anyway. It's just almost like realizing an infinite addiction.

Awesome as always.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Cyntax.

j.

[caesarkreshen]

I got a feeling that you don't want an actual critique of this (since I recognize your name, just browsing new writing), but I'll do it once and if you don't want another, then I won't give another. I feel like, in some ways, this site is just people patting everyone on the back. You've definitely been writing longer than I have, as you have been living longer, so I will give... a new set of eyes.

The part that I feel is not strong about this is how the metaphor of it is overstated. That is: poetic feet, whirlpool wisdom, write toward it again, my pen does the dead man's float. I suppose one or two (perhaps the last one, the pen, because it's a thing and not an adjective) are necessary.

For me, personally, I can read the first part without issue, but I am definitely stuck on 'poetic feet.' I am also obsessive and strange, so that could just be my thing.

Later.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, there is much of that here...but yes, i do want honest feedback, positive or negative...gives me a better idea where a piece stands...thank you for your words, caesar..

j.