4 lines from a thaw

4 lines from a thaw

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto

4 lines from a thaw

 

 

 

snowed in by your icy demeanor

slipping on your indifferent pavement

 

even my salty tears

can not steady my heart's step.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/5/17


© 2017 jacob erin-cilberto



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Reviews

No need to elaborate You said it all in 4 well compacted lines. I specially like the first two lines

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you for your kind words, Lina...

j.
Sofia

1 Year Ago

Wow!! That's incredible..Well I'm new here..so can anyone help me with my writing
I saw that metaphor slip and fall on the ice of her demeanor Jacob and there you sat on your butt getting wet and colder by the second... and salty tears give no aide to the heart, but sometimes do give rise to wonderful poetry, like this one Jacob... do we need to call the ambulance, help you up??!!

redzone

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

ha ha, on the ambulance...you're too funny...thanks for the smile, my friend.

j.
I've fallen and can't get up. The ice in this poem is sharp and slippery.

Regards,
Al

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you, Al.
j.
i am very deliberate in my steps on icy slopes these days ... but when cryin' won't do it ... i don't know what can :{ ... maybe better a broken hip that lands me in the hospital where they would give me the "good" stuff ;) just kidding of course. four lines title perfect .. that's a nice little challenge to put together well .. nice one jacob
E.
E.

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you for your kind review, E.

j.
Strong use of words and thoughts in the poem. Create a vision of sadness. Thank you Jacob for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you, Coyote...

j.
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

You are welcome Jacob.
Heartbreaking words. Always great metaphor, Jacob.

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you for your kind words, Lydi.
j.
Usually we think of tears sweet, as they might be the very expression of the heart. But this... adds a whole new conceptions of tears. Surely the phrase "Drowning in tears" doesn't apply to this cold heart...

Wonderfull poem (short but strong) as always.

Greetings pal...

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you for your words, Fernando...

j.
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mou
sometime silent ice is always treated as cold, fool fellow, it's reason is never scrutinized..a wonderful feelings. the last line is just heart stopping!

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you for your kind review, mou...

j.
mou

1 Year Ago

it's my pleasure
A crusty resolution is needed here Jacob.

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

yes, probably so, andrew...

j.
Once it gets so cold, even the salt becomes useless. Love the metaphor!

Posted 1 Year Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Year Ago

thank you, Witty,

j.

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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on January 7, 2017
Last Updated on January 7, 2017

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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