4 lines from a thaw

4 lines from a thaw

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto

4 lines from a thaw

 

 

 

snowed in by your icy demeanor

slipping on your indifferent pavement

 

even my salty tears

can not steady my heart's step.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/5/17


© 2017 jacob erin-cilberto



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Reviews

I've fallen and can't get up. The ice in this poem is sharp and slippery.

Regards,
Al

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you, Al.
j.
i am very deliberate in my steps on icy slopes these days ... but when cryin' won't do it ... i don't know what can :{ ... maybe better a broken hip that lands me in the hospital where they would give me the "good" stuff ;) just kidding of course. four lines title perfect .. that's a nice little challenge to put together well .. nice one jacob
E.
E.

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you for your kind review, E.

j.
Strong use of words and thoughts in the poem. Create a vision of sadness. Thank you Jacob for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you, Coyote...

j.
Coyote Poetry

9 Months Ago

You are welcome Jacob.
Heartbreaking words. Always great metaphor, Jacob.

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you for your kind words, Lydi.
j.
Usually we think of tears sweet, as they might be the very expression of the heart. But this... adds a whole new conceptions of tears. Surely the phrase "Drowning in tears" doesn't apply to this cold heart...

Wonderfull poem (short but strong) as always.

Greetings pal...

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you for your words, Fernando...

j.
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mou
sometime silent ice is always treated as cold, fool fellow, it's reason is never scrutinized..a wonderful feelings. the last line is just heart stopping!

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you for your kind review, mou...

j.
mou

9 Months Ago

it's my pleasure
A crusty resolution is needed here Jacob.

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

yes, probably so, andrew...

j.
Once it gets so cold, even the salt becomes useless. Love the metaphor!

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you, Witty,

j.
Someone has buried their feelings so deeply in ice that they are beyond redemption - certainly the saline solution of our speaker's tears (for them?) are having little effect.
This speak's of such energy that could be used to help being wasted in frustration.


Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

love your insights, Tony..

thank you,
j.
Wow. Love the use of the weather terms and the write is one that speaks to me on a personal level (jealous a bit of this one). Kudos. ~Jim

Posted 9 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

9 Months Ago

thank you for your kind words, Jim.

j.

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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on January 7, 2017
Last Updated on January 7, 2017

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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