unable to catch the ending

unable to catch the ending



at a frenetic pace,
we said the "Our Father"
as hallowed ashes reached for the trinity

faith a bit frayed
i mouthed the words,
stared at your picture,

imagined a big lake in the sky
you sitting, sleeping in your cirrus chair
line slid through your fingers

waiting to wake...
but the strike was only lightning
and we were soaked to the hymnal

reciting words, casting them into the wind
the clouds calmed
the prayer ended,

lure floated aimlessly
cap pulled down over your eyes
our hearts tangled in the memories

line snapped


                                   and you drifted 

further away.


erin-cilberto
3/18/17

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

I have goosebumps after reading this one....the metaphor of fishing is perfect. Yes, the spirit drifts further away, but the memories are the catch of the day and they remain. Beautifully written. LydI**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi.
j.

[APOORVA]

losing someone close to heart is worth a lifetime grief.
I can relate to this one totally :)
yet, we humans are made to grow , emotionally and physically and mentally...so moving on should be our strength (though i badly lack it)
respect worthy write. wow!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Apoorva.

j.

[redzone]

when we lose our parents or loved one, the lines we held so close and dearly, snap leaving us with only memories and the floundering for their once touch... even when we know is coming, it s hard to digest when it happens and yet we are supposed to move on, live... but I think Jacob it takes a while for the drift to end...

it is an amazing poem Jacob and felt very deeply to my bones...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it does for sure---thanks for the kind words, Curt.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .............. and i don't do points much sir ..but this is a keeper for me! so i gave it a bunch! :)
E.

[Einstein Noodle]

kind of puts it all in God's lap eh!? :( honest to the bone poem ... relate to this very Catholic background ... instant prayers in all times .. but the Our Father is the one given by Jesus Himself ... the words at face value tell it all ..any faith can pray it with the same fervor ...
"but the strike was only lightning' is the line that i think is so subtly ironic and sarcastic ... but i to am one flooded in the hymnal ..but you know jacob ...we can cut through all that with the smallest amount of true faith ... something like "if You're all that ... I need you!" :)
incredible poem from the deep .. love it!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, E.
j

[Shannon]

Wow. Usually funerals described in such cliche terms. Difficult to be original.

This one captured it, but mostly the heart ache of saying goodbye. The fishing analogy makes me imagine it's about a specific person, but also anchors the piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Shannon.

j.

[Giulia King]

This is so powerful. Amazing piece!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Gullia...
j.

[Beccy]

Salvation is slipping further away with every passing day.

Soon, the fisherman will completely tire of casting into the wind; and there will only remain a memory of what should have been.

Beccy.

Do you grow weary jacob? I do.

Beccy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i grow weary...thank you for your words, Beccy.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

The extraordinary enters the fray, ideas form the uniqueness of the poet, giving us verse he shows the genius of his mind.

What a piece!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Al.
j.

[Paul Bell]

Life in a second. Even in death the rush to the grave is fast paced. Memories are given out as the mourners leave. Someday soon they'll probably inject the memories into you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

they probably will....thank you, Paul...